#though it's a bit heavy so I understand if you don't feel up for that.
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twistedteatime · 2 days ago
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Care
A/N: I feel like crap today. I'm better now than I was earlier. I wanted some period care with Bucky and decided to write it myself. I've got other fics to write, but this is the one that came of today. It's not in the Scorpio AU. It's just a standalone.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x !femReader
POV: 2nd no use of Y/N.
Summary: Bucky comes home and finds you in a state of pain because of your period and takes care of you.
Word Count: 1.4k
Warnings: Strangely enough I don't think there's any LANGUAGE to warn about for once. Fluff. Care. Talk of heavy period pain symptoms (because I'm not in the tribe of periods being unmentionable). Bucky and Alpine being cute. I can't think of anything else. (I'm sure there's more but I can't remember)
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*******
You were still home when Bucky walked into the house. His brows scrunched together as his blue eyes looked at you as you shuffled back through the doorway from the bathroom, Alpine following you with a worried meow.
Concern bubbled in his stomach at the sight of your pale face and tired, heavy-lidded eyes, sweat soaking through one of his T shirts you were wearing. Then you looked at him as he was looking at the pulled-out drawers, tears pooling in your eyes as he stepped in with a gentle sigh and locked the door as he always did.
He knew what this was. He hated it, but not for most reasons men hated it. Bucky hated what it did to you.
Not every month, but too often for his liking your period put you in a state like this. The last couple of months had been alright, but not this one.
You sniffled, “I can’t find the heating pad anywhere. I’m so hot, though. I’ve already changed my clothes twice. I’m hungry but the thought of food makes me wanna puke. I did puke. It feels like my uterus wants to implode. My head hurts…and I’m so tired!”
You were overwhelmed. It wasn’t the first time.
Pain radiated in your lower back, your lower abdomen felt like it was a hand mercilessly squeezing a tube, your thighs ached and you could feel the start of a migraine coming that was almost guaranteed if you started crying. If you cried you were done for but you were so tired it hurt to hold it together.
He didn’t hesitate another moment.
“Shh…I’m home now, sweetheart. It’s gonna be alright.” Bucky soothed, walking quickly over to you to scoop you up in his arms to carry you to the couch, “The heating pad is in the closet. I’ll go get it. Does it help to sit or help to walk?”
“Sit.”
“Okay. Don’t move. I’ve got you, okay?” he asked and you nodded, wiping your eyes, smiling a bit when he kissed your forehead.
You’d been worried when you first moved in together that he didn’t understand what you meant when you said your periods could get bad. It worried you how he’d react to them and how long it’d take before he got annoyed with them. The first time he saw what happened in its full “glory” Bucky had been intensely worried but had also sprung himself into action to do everything he could to alleviate it.
He had even asked Sarah for help and followed her advice to the letter. Including trying to get you to go to the doctor. You found it ironic with how much he hated going to them himself that he was willingly taking you to one.
The experience didn’t improve his opinion on them. Not that you didn’t warn him what would happen. You’d been through it enough.
Just take Tylenol, Advil, Aleve, Pamprin, Midol, etc. Eye rolls. Ignored.
You were used to it. Bucky didn’t give up. He kept trying and whenever you had a bad month he was always there to take care of you. It helped more than the OTC meds and even though you found a doctor that listened, which you were slightly convinced their fear of your boyfriend played a large factor in, you still had bad months.
In a moment he was there with the large pad, plugging it in and handing you the controls to place it over your front, and he had another one of his shirts. You just raised your arms for him to pull the sweat soaked one off and let him put on the lighter dry one. He put an extra blanket on the couch behind you knowing once the hot flash was over you’d get cold. Bucky didn’t want you to feel cold just in case he wasn’t done before you did.
Next came a large glass of water with a wedge of lemon in it and three different flavors of candy canes or peppermints. He kept them in the house year-round once he figured out that one of them was usually likely to help with your nausea. The next part was the hard part.
“I know you don’t feel good, sweetie, but you really do need to eat. What have you tried?”
“Toast. It didn’t stay down…and I just can’t…think of something that tastes…good.” You answered and he nodded, thinking before carefully suggesting a few things that you usually would eat on days like this until you slowly nodded, “That…that’s not nauseating…”
He nodded and went back into the kitchen, Alpine hot on his tail. Occasionally you’d hear her meow at him and him respond to it. Soft, short, then a bit more accusatory.
“Have you been watching Kitchen Nightmares with her again?”
It made you chuckle sleepily. He brought out your food a few moments later, sitting with you to eat, putting on one of your favorite shows that you knew he secretly liked even if he said he didn’t. Still he mostly kept his eyes on you with soft, caring, and concerned ones.
The food stayed down. You’d love to say it always did when he made it, but sometimes it didn’t want to. You’d love to say the moment he got home that the pain subsided but you both knew that wasn’t how it worked. You’d love to say a lot of things you couldn’t, but you focused on what you could before the heaviness of your thoughts could pull you down too far.
Bucky was a cuddler on regular days but on these ones he took it to the next level whenever you needed it. Sure there were days you didn’t want to be touched, which he respected without question, but those days were far fewer than the ones where you just wanted to be held.
This was one of them and as soon as you were both done with your food and the dishes put away Bucky returned and pulled you into his lap, heating pad and all.
Alpine hopped up into your now vacant seat as she always did, curling herself up where you had been. Like usual she looked at you, then looked at Bucky, and then he nodded. Only then did she either lay her head down or turn it to look at the TV with the two of you.
It depended on what you were watching.
You were still sweating. Bucky noticed this and held out his left hand to you. The metal of it was cool, soothing, and even if it was a strange use for it, in some ways, to him, he was grateful for it. So were you while guiding it where you wanted, usually to your spine which sometimes required you to shift around a bit so he could run his hand up and down it. Sometimes it was just to your face. Sometimes, like today, you just slipped it under his shirt on you and around your side so he’d hold you closer.
He always did and you never failed to doze off, head against his shoulder within the next ten or so minutes. Usually less. Eyelids heavy, head foggy, you’d doze off even if it took you some time.
“Thank you.” You said softly, meekly, and his heart clenched as it always did.
To him it wasn’t something he needed to be thanked for, but, he supposed, he thanked you for things you didn’t think needed thanking for.
So he replied the same way you did, “You don’t need to thank me, but if it makes you feel better, you’re welcome.”
“Hmm.” You hummed, cuddling into him more with a small smile.
“Feelin’ better?”
“Yeah…sleepy…” you answered and he nodded, holding you close, “Sleepy and weird questions. Like: what did women with periods crave before chocolate was a thing?”
“I don’t know, sweetheart, I’m not that old.” He retorted lightly, lips curling up softly when you chuckled heavily, drifting off slowly, “Probly some other sweet thing. Like honey.”
“Mh…why?”
“I don’t know. Energy from the sugar?”
“Then why’d I crave chips?” you asked sleepily.
“They’re carbohydrates. Carbs are energy.”
“Then why’m I so sleepy?” you mumbled and he just cuddled you with a small smile.
“Hormones and other things. Get some sleep, baby, I’ve got you.” Bucky said and you smiled while dozing off, knowing you were safe and cared for.
Once he was sure you were asleep, and that Alpine wasn’t watching it, he turned your show off to put something else on. Something he knew you liked even if you teased him for it being old and kind of corny. He wasn’t really watching it; he was typing into his phone.
To your doctor.
*******
A/N: Someone might be in trouble. Slight, teensy weensy itty bitty kinda sorta soft dark Bucky. Maybe. Bascially this is what I'd want from Bucky today for myself so...call it self indulgent. It helped. I feel better now. Sort of. Enough to function on my other fics.
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odileeclipse · 3 hours ago
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In Eyes I Almost Knew (In the Presence of Truth spin-off?)
(I just want to preface this is like a super old Idea of what I thought would happen of course, I love the amnesia trope but then I scrapped it but if I had stuck with it I wrote a small blurb for it just because I wanted to explore the idea before committing to the bit....I had the time so I polished it from the original. In this version I wanted for MC to walk alone with no friends which is why their friends don't appear but again scrapped it. I would prefer they don't walk the path alone)
It was odd, you thought, how the Faerie Kingdom felt at once completely familiar and utterly foreign. The silver pathways glistened beneath your feet, winding endlessly beneath canopies of strange, luminous flowers whose petals opened gently, glowing like captured moonlight. It was beautiful and utterly frustrating.
Frustrating because you couldn't remember anything.
Well, almost nothing. You remembered names, at least three of them: Chai Latte, warm laughter wrapped in mischief. Hazelnut Biscotti, solid and steady like stone walls. Earl Grey, quietly precise and annoyingly right, always.
But aside from them, your mind remained stubbornly blank. Elder Faerie Cookie had taken great care in cloaking you, hiding you away beneath enchantments that felt heavy and safe at once. He had murmured softly, eyes gentle yet burdened, as he'd draped the fabric over your shoulders.
"Keep your hood up, little one. Your safety depends upon secrecy."
He never elaborated, of course.
So here you were, hood drawn low over your eyes, following Elder Faerie quietly along silver paths. Your feet moved on instinct, careful yet curious, tracing the winding veins of the kingdom. You tried again to pry at your memories, nudging at them like bruises gentle but insistent. Still nothing. You huffed quietly in annoyance.
Just as you were readying yourself to protest Elder Faerie's quiet, mysterious guidance, you rounded a corner and nearly stumbled directly into a group of Cookies already deep in hushed conversation. You stopped abruptly, Elder Faerie’s gentle hand steadying at your back.
“Oh!” the loudest of the group said, bright-eyed and enthusiastic, a candy cane slung confidently over his shoulder. “Hello there!”
You blinked beneath your hood. He seemed friendly enough, if not a bit overly eager. Beside him, a wizard fiddled nervously with his oversized hat, mumbling something about sudden interruptions. A shy Cookie in a strawberry hoodie peeked from behind them, her eyes barely visible beneath the hood’s shadows.
Then, the fourth Cookie turned, and the quiet murmurings ceased entirely.
He wore robes of white and gold that shimmered softly like sunlight caught in honey. A soul jam, gentle and radiant, pulsed at his chest. But what stopped your heart was when he lifted his gaze to meet yours directly eyes gentle, patient, and achingly familiar.
One eye was golden like warm sunlit amber, the other as blue and deep as forgotten oceans.
Something deep within your chest shifted painfully. Your breath caught, lodging somewhere tight and burning in your throat. You didn't know him couldn't possibly know him. You searched your fragmented memory desperately, yet found only smoke and emptiness.
So why did those eyes look like something you’d once cherished, once trusted more than anything in the world?
Your fingers clenched tight at your sides beneath the cloak, as though gripping reality itself. The confusion must have shown, because Elder Faerie stepped forward quietly, his voice soft and low beside your ear.
“Do not fear, young one,” he murmured gently. “The ache you feel…it is not for Pure Vanilla Cookie. Though he may resemble one your heart once held close, it is not he.”
You blinked hard, barely breathing. “I don’t understand,” you whispered back, voice tight with something you couldn’t name. You had no choice but to trust him…Elder Faerie but it felt as though he was hiding the truth. There it was again that dull ache in your memory.
He only squeezed your shoulder lightly. “Your heart knows what your mind does not. Let it rest for now.”
You inhaled slowly, deliberately. Fine. Logic dictated arguing was futile. If you couldn’t even recall why these eyes made your heart twist so sharply, there was no point fighting Elder Faerie’s cryptic warnings.
Pure Vanilla Cookie gentle, patient smiled softly, stepping forward. “It is wonderful to finally meet you. Elder Faerie Cookie speaks highly of you.”
You swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing your voice steady, cordial. “Thank you. Likewise.”
He inclined his head, eyes lingering with subtle curiosity, yet he asked nothing more. He seemed aware, somehow, of the careful lines you both danced around.
You turned slightly toward Elder Faerie again, unable to keep your question buried. “Can I ask...why exactly I need to stay hidden? I mean, is it a ‘dangerous assassin chasing me’ kind of thing, or more like an ‘ancient evil prophecy’ thing?” you asked lightly, using humor as a shield against the uncomfortable ache in your chest.
Elder Faerie Cookie looked briefly surprised then his expression softened slightly. He sighed, fond yet exasperated, and you felt a surge of pride in having cracked his serious demeanor, if only just a little.
“You remain hidden,” he explained carefully, “because who you were once mattered greatly. There are those who might seek you, yes…but not assassins, I assure you.”
You nodded solemnly. “So, an ancient evil prophecy, then.”
From behind Elder Faerie, GingerBrave laughed brightly, and even Pure Vanilla’s lips twitched in amusement.
“You have not changed entirely, it seems,” Elder Faerie murmured softly, shaking his head. But the corners of his mouth curled faintly upward, betraying quiet relief.
You smiled sheepishly beneath your hood, feeling just a little lighter. “Well, memory loss apparently hasn’t erased my impeccable comedic timing, at least.”
Wizard Cookie gave an exaggerated sigh, glancing aside dramatically. “Oh good. Another one who thinks they’re funny.”
Strawberry Cookie muffled a soft giggle behind her sleeve, peeking cautiously from beneath her hood. “I-I thought it was funny...”
“See?” you gestured triumphantly. “Clearly, I’m hilarious.”
Pure Vanilla Cookie chuckled gently, eyes warm with an unspoken fondness. “Indeed. We are lucky, then, that humor endures even when memories fail.”
Your smile faltered only slightly. He was right. Humor endured your favorite defense against pain you couldn’t yet face.
Your eyes lingered a moment longer on Pure Vanilla’s, still aching softly beneath your ribs. He was beautiful, gentle, kind but Elder Faerie was right. Your heart didn’t ache for him. No, the ache felt older, deeper. Whoever it was that Pure Vanilla reminded you of someone you’d lost and forgotten they still lingered just beyond your reach.
You looked away before the ache could sharpen, forcing a bright grin beneath your hood.
“So,” you began lightly, breaking the tension deliberately, “am I at least allowed snacks while in magical witness protection, or is the whole ‘mysterious-hooded-figure’ thing just for dramatic effect? I’m craving…” your heart ached for a minute. “Pineapples…?” Yeah you love pineapples don’t you?
Pure Vanilla’s smile widened, gentle amusement dancing softly in his mismatched eyes.
Elder Faerie sighed again but this time, openly amused. “You will have whatever you wish. Though if it quiets your humor, perhaps double portions.”
You beamed beneath your cloak, triumphant. “Perfect.”
And as laughter softened the lingering ache in your chest, you thought perhaps just perhaps you might be okay here in the kingdom of silver and secrets, hidden away until memories decided they were ready to return.
At least until then, you had your jokes.
A/N This isn't supposed to really even be angst it's a little confusing to me but I wanted to put it out there. I feel a little conflicted but ultimately when this does happen in canon, it will be a lot different and a lot more fleshed out than this.
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cowbell-ghuleh · 1 day ago
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Skeleta thoughts.
Errr... I just kept writing with this and it turned into a long rambling essay... Idk if anyone is gonna read it but I wanted to get my thoughts down.
One of my vinyls arrived unexpectedly today. Wasn't as stressed out from work as I was expecting so I listened to it. And wow I have a lot to say.
I like it a lot overall, it's an utterly beautiful work of art. I don't think it quite replaces Prequelle as my favourite, but omg this thing is fascinating!
It's definitely a work of art that requires you to engage with it and think. It demands you give it all your attention to fully understand it and appreciate all the themes and layers in the music.
It also feels like an incredibly personal piece to Tobias, moreso than any other Ghost album, and I kinda feel privileged he's willing to share that much of himself with us. Considering he's said Impera burnt him out, I'm glad he was able to write Skeleta to recover without worrying about critics or creating a creatively bankrupt sequel to Imperia.
I'm Gonna need to sit with it, and listen to it, for a while more before really solidifying how I feel about it (that's kinda normal for me, didn't like twenties at first for example and now I love it). This is written after two listens to the album followed by listening to each song on loop.
Long essay below the cut, content warning contains a mention of Self Injury.
So to start off:
My vinyl...
I got the zoetrope version.
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Unfortunately I can only see the pictures in focus at certain angles when it's spinning and even then I can't keep my eyes still long enough to see the animated effect. Idk if it's because I wear glasses, or if here's a trick to it I'm missing, or if you need a certain kind of record player. Still looks cool though!
I doubt I'm gonna ever play it again though... especially after my standard version arrives as I'm absolutely terrified of damaging it! Though I think I may have have a slightly miss pressed copy as I had problems with the B side.
The Music
This definitely does not sound like Copia or any previous Papa singing. It's distinctly Papa V, which I love. It's also wildly different from the previous Ghost albums, which in itself is a very Ghost thing to do. This era is entirely it's own thing and that's one of the reasons I love this band.
Some kinda silly / cheesy lyrics but this is the band that wrote Idol-latrine, "grabbing them all by the whoo-ha", " and "fecal trail across the land", so I don't really understand why people are complaining.
It's also a lot gentler / softer than Impera and other albums, there's no equivalent to Faith or Twenties or Mummy Dust here. Though given the more introspective nature of the album I'm not entirely sure if a more heavy/aggressive song would have fitted thematically.
A lot of the songs do kinda feel like they leave you hanging, lacking a proper conclusion, but that kinda works for an introspective emotional album. It feels like you're meant to sit with each song in silence for a bit to fully let their emotional weight land.
I have way more to say about the "new" songs as we've kinda discussed Satanised and Lachryma a lot by this point...
Peacefield
I can't be entirely analytical about this as it's one I heard first at my Rituals, particularly the Birmingham ritual, so it's forever tied to those joyful memories and feelings.
The perfect epilogue to Impera. As others have said it feels like emerging from the pain and trauma, breaking the cycle of empire, and moving on. The future may not be easy but there's hope and we can build something new.
It also sets up the new era, were traveling into dark waters, but we have each other.
As an introduction to Papa V it's also interesting, far less bombastic than Kaisarion, instead of a triumphant leader, we have someone taking your hand and leading you out of the fires and into the night.
Personally I really like this one, feels like the kind of 80s rock anthem that'd score the credits of a fantasy or sci-fi movie.
Though it did make me cry, Mainly due to emotion from the rituals
Lachryma
The one with the music video that had Tumblr frothing at the mouth because they saw a man singing XD
With themes or self deceit and possibly imposter syndrome it hints at the dark places we're going.
Needless to say I love this.
Satanized
We've all been Satanised at this point.
Classic Ghost themes including criticism of religion, and very obvious "satanic" lyrics.
So much fun live too! An absolute banger.
Guiding lights
Kinda flow breaking after front loading the more heavy and rock anthem-y songs. Not in a bad way though.
A train suddenly screeching to a halt followed by Papa yelling "Hey you! Pay attention now! This is where he journey gets dark."
You suddenly get far less filtered (? Idk what the right term is), Raw vocals from Papa. But as you get into the song it gets beautiful but also desolate, as usual with ghost there's layers to the song that you really don't pick up on during a first listen.
It definitely has the effect on you Tobias probably intended. As he's said it's about being unable to talk to a friend who's going down a dark path.
From a personal perspective the sudden break in the flow definitely feels like the horrible moment you realise you've lost someone (in my case a family member) to their own hate, and there's nothing you can say to pull them out of that well. The rest feels like you're almost grieving for a relationship (platonic) lost.
Though I like it thematically, I'm not quite sure if I like it or not musically. I'm not sure if I'd add it to my regular rotation of songs if that makes sense.
De Profundus Borealis
Starts bleak and mellow, building into a power rock style march.
(I can't make out the Whispers at the beginning no idea if anyone has managed to decipher them.)
I don't know if TF ever said what the song is about, and maybe I'm projecting my own mental health issues into it.
But I interpret it as being about Regret and Self Hatred. Anger at, and being unable to forgive, yourself. Being unable to process your own emotions. The voices in your head at 3am that stop you sleeping. How you keep it locked up and frozen but eventually it thaws and the damn breaks, and all that pent up emotion turns inwards and destroys everything within you. (In my case usually manifesting as an SH episode.)
God the ending though, so bleak. Just feels like an empty pit in your stomach. The feeling of nothingness that comes after an episode.
Took a couple of listens but musically it hits the spot for me, idk if they're ever going to play it live but I could hear those riffs killing it in person.
It feels kinda nostalgic in a way but I can't place what / which band / song it reminds me off.
Ctenograph
Unfortunately my first listen to this was kinda "spoiled" because I think my vinyl is slightly warped or scratched on the B side. Fresh out the box and it was skipping and popping a lot...
Yeah... I like this one a lot. Fucking crying again though.
The feeling of grief never really going away but it also in a way means the people you loved never really go away too. Hopeful and comforting on its own way.
"Wherever I go, you're always there, riding next to me."
Definitely had thoughts about my Grandad... He's been on my mind a lot after seeing War of the Worlds last week, he was a big fan and it's a show I planned on seeing with him years ago but we were never able to.
Missilia Amori
Again had problems with it first play...
Gives me the same abuser / stalker talking to their victim vibes as DatHomL... Definitely gives me the creeps... The narrator must possess the object of his lust/love and if they refuse him they must be destroyed.
Given TF has said it's about how love can turn to hate that makes sense to me.
Musically it's not quite my taste, I don't dislike it, but I feel like it's one I'm gonna skip quite often. Then again I might grow to like it a lot more in future...
Marks of the Evil one
Another one that didn't play properly first listen... Skipped / jumped a lot.
Don't really have much to say about this one. I'm not really sure how to interpret it, or what emotion/feeling it's about, or "who" the marks are. Definitely feels like a slight dig at satanic panic and how certain Christians (usually those with a profit motive) see the devil everywhere.
Again it's a song I think I'm gonna have to sit with... Not sure if I like it or not.
Umbra
Full disclosure, this is not a song I can be analytical about...
First time I heard it was at my first ever concert (I kinda missed Peacefield at the Manchester ritual), so it's forever associated with those feelings and the pure joy I felt there.
I fell in love with it immediately, had the chorus stuck in my head all week which has never happened to me on one single listen to a song before, and I am so happy to be able to listen to it again.
I do think the live version is slightly better, but that's kinda to be expected for Ghost.
Though I definitely get more creepy vibes from the album version, like it's more about unhinged lust rather than love, which coming after Missilia Amori makes, this song seem way less comforting.
I've said it before but this song gives me chills and joy and makes me cry all at the same time.
Excelsis
Raw vocals again. Like guiding lights it feels like a stopping point. A real punch to the gut after the joy of Umbra.
While, it didn't effect me like Life Eternal did when I first heard that song, I appreciate what TF was going for. And it might be another song I need to sit with some more to fully get it. It's really reminding me if a Beatles song, but I cannot for the life of me figure out which Beatles song it is... Maybe it's just the raw vocals reminding me somewhat of Lennon...
As a cap to the album I like how it feels like Papa V taking your hand again. It's the end but that's okay we all walk this path in the end.
And like others have commented it's a fascinating contrast with Life Eternal from a character perspective. You've got Copia longing for a life eternal never wanting this to end, while Perpetua accepts his time is limited and that's okay. (I have more comments on that on the concluding thoughts.)
And holy shit though that ending. So bleak. Just drop the floor out from under us Tobias... Again it's an interesting response to Peacefield, if Perpetua is our something to believe in, here he is admitting he's scared and vulnerable too, human like all of us... (Again not something I could ever see Copia doing.)
Concluding thoughts
It's such an interesting contrast to Impera. Impera all bombastic and grand, and Skeleta is reserved and introspective. They really do complement each other so well. They feel like they have the same DNA but but express it in such radically different ways. Again
I kinda love how that feeds into the twin theming of Copia and Perpetua. The brash, extroverted, and limelight loving Copia forced into a behind the scenes role, Vs the reserved, introverted Perpetua who has suddenly been thrust into the spotlight.
----
Thank you so much to anyone who read this... I don't get to talk about Ghost irl and I really wanted somewhere to talk about this beautiful album!
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plant-ago · 5 months ago
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An Open Letter to Dan and Phil
Dear beloved nerds,
This was originally going to be an (even longer) actual letter that I was going to give to you at the tour, but my nonprofit-employed ass can’t afford a meet and greet, so we’re doing this instead. I promise it’s not just trauma dumping— mostly, it’s about saying thank you and trying to cultivate some hope for all of us.
I’ve been a big fan since around 2014, when I was a mentally ill neurotic deeply repressed loner egg (average phannie, let's be honest). Now I’m a whole adult who got therapy and HRT and has joined the legions of transmascs with the Dan Howell haircut! What a legacy.
I’m making jokes because the thing I actually want to talk about, and the reason I decided to make this an open letter, is kind of serious. But in light of the election, I feel like I need to share this, both with you and with all the other queers in this little corner of the internet.
Here’s the gist: I’m a paralegal at a non-profit organization that works to help queer migrants get asylum. Mostly what I do is sit them down in our nasty sterile office and try to be kind, and help them get through telling me all the most terrible things that have happened to them, and then turn around and pare it all down into legalese that is digestible to the government to make the case they should get asylum.
It’s a horrible job, really, and one that shouldn’t have to exist. Some parts are plainly wonderful, like meeting so many queer people from all walks of life. But it’s also heartrending and difficult, and burnout is always looming. My horrible banal work is often literally a matter of life and death for the client, and I’m fighting a broken system for a chance at giving them the happiness and safety is owed to them by international law and, really, by any decent human standard, should never have been in question.
The thing is—and this is reason to hope—queer people really do exist everywhere, no matter how much repression and violence we face. In a tiny village in Colombia, there's a kid who’s all spit and vinegar, dresses like a boy and plays football and fights anyone who says that they can’t, who grows up wiry and gets black eyes because men still can’t handle getting their asses handed to them on the soccer field by a dyke. This client texts me at my work number sometimes to ask if I’ve eaten that day, because they wanted to check in on me. He asked me to call him by a boy’s name, recently. I don’t know that he’s told anyone else. I open every message I send him with "Hola, James."
Then there’s the sweet, babyfaced college freshman who got death threats when he was outed to his classmates back home, and whose parents kicked him out when he refused to marry a girl to protect the family's reputation, leaving him alone in a foreign country. He was couch surfing and just trying not to miss class so he could keep his student status and he was so conscientious I wanted to cry— he’s eighteen, guys. Eighteen. I’ll get him his papers or so help me fucking God I will kill for him. You know? You know. After that meeting I had to sit at my desk with my notebook and fill an entire blank page with the phrase “he’s just a kid,” over and over again, until I felt like I could breathe.
On a Friday morning recently I get up and open my laptop to interpret on a call with a soft-spoken older trans woman who's sat in the bleak phone room of the ICE detention facility because her immigration judge didn’t believe that she was really transgender. “An odor of mendacity pervades everything the respondent says,” the judge wrote in her ruling, where she determined the client wasn't "credible." To this day I’m still floored that she straight up ripped off Tennessee Williams—new frontiers in bigotry, truly. She didn’t even cite. In our meeting now, the client quietly tells us how hard it was when she came out but how happy she was the first time she wore makeup, and she'd rather stay in detention here for indeterminate years as proceedings spiral on than go back to Guatemala, where they'll kill her—boys, if I ever get within spitting distance of this fuckass judge, it is on SIGHT. Absolutely fucking ON SIGHT. For legal purposes, that was a JOKE.
So I finish the call and get up to get a snack. It’s only ten am but feel tired already because I’m angry, which is not unusual but also not something I want to hold onto, because it doesn't help anything. So I make some toast and look at my phone— two texts, which I ignore, a spam email, and, wouldn't you know it, a YouTube notification from Dan and Phil games! Jarring! That’s just sort of how life is though, isn’t it? Deathly serious and lighthearted in the same breath.
But regardless, seeing the notification makes me feel warm, so I have my toast and watch a little video of you two playing Roblox or dress up or whatever it is you do on that channel these days. I have a good giggle and I finish my toast and go back to my desk. It’s a crucial part of my diet really— the giggles, not the toast. I’m not angry anymore. I’ll be angry again, but for now my cortisol levels are manageable and I can put my head back into emails or whatever the fuck. Do you ever think about how plants make food for free out of sunlight but we sit around writing emails all day? And that’s if we’re lucky. Capitalism is hell.
Anyway, there is a point I am trying to make, and it’s not really about the banal horrors of neoliberal nation-state or capitalism or even homophobia. It’s to say thank you for coming back to make silly videos together, because I love them, and you never fail to make me happy. And yeah, maybe something about the story of that scared eighteen-year-old kid at the front of my mind makes it particularly sweet to watch you two goofing off and being openly queer. It reminds me why I’m doing what I’m doing, and it gives me the strength to send another fucking email because sometimes doing “important work that I value and believe in deeply” means having to send another fucking email. And sometimes I’ll rewatch your older videos, and then come back to the more recent ones, and my heart bruises, because you remind me what I’m fighting for and why. It’s nothing grandiose, it’s just— for queer people to get to have the ability to grow into themselves and be outrageous and silly and make mistakes and to love and be loved for who they are. To have the safety and support and security that no one should ever go without. That’s all.
So I am being dead serious when I say thank you for making top-tier light entertainment, and for coming back to a job that wasn’t always kind to you, and that it does actually matter. All this talk about terrible influences and legacies has made me think that sometimes you doubt whether you do good in the world, so let me be clear: you really, really do. I kind of get the sense that in order to accept sincerity Dan needs to be beat over the head with it, so if that’s the case, consider yourself coerced, you dickhead. You matter to me, and especially in times like these, I think I speak for all of us when I say that the joy you share is a precious and treasured gift. So please accept my gratitude in return.
All my love,
Jules
(I removed or changed all identifying information in this letter to protect privacy, but the stories are real).
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andtheirmoonlight · 19 days ago
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‘I'm so sorry for what happened to you!’ says a part of what happened to me.
‘I'm so sorry for what those people did to you!’ — you’re not ‘those people’, you are you, and you're doing the ‘what’ right now.
‘Omg people can be so horrible!’ — yes, you can be, and so lacking in self-awareness.
When you were trained to think of everything in black and white, you start seeing yourself as a ‘good person’ and start believing that everything you as a ‘good person’ do or have the potential to do is always good, and that you are never the villain. But humans do not work that way.
#atmposts#tbh by this point I think I deserve a medal for every instance of me being polite#and keeping my composure with them.#they never ever see/realize. they are surrounded by so many cameras that they lost the capacity to look into a mirror. much less inside.#This particular one was a double BINGO!#thinking that 'personal' only ever pertains to 'romantic relationships' and sex acts — check#the casual mentioning of imaginary lovers in order to 'impress' because to them everything is about social comparison — check#“Buddy's only crime was thinking we are cool!!!” XD — check. “Maybe a bit less sugar next time.” — check. Untreated — check.#capitalistic self-deprecation paired with 'here's how I could get better but I'm not self-aware enough to notice my own words' — check#BINGING a subtext-heavy reference-heavy source and never getting Curious — check.#astonished that visceral non-posturing art felt gripping and was a gut punch when all she usually “reads”(consumes) is slop content — check#believing that I would be flattered when what I actually got was a ruined day and more existential horror — check#rushing to note that there's nothing wrong with slop content while not understanding the source of that teensy aching guilt — check#me knowing for certain that it's another one of the 'you inspired me! (to do a shitty facsimile)' hallucinator of 'wriTeR spAceS' — check#FOMO-begging for something private when the public goodie “the same but in x3 better English” is right there — check#saying “I don't read” to [a professional who suffered burnout and subsequent suicidality because people don't read] — check#zero media literacy and zero desire to learn and zero understanding of how depressing that is — check#commodification of a human — MEGA CHECK-A-ROO-NIE WOOOOO!#me feeling despair and wanting to die upon reading — check. If I was alone I'd be long dead tbh time to face it.#This was another instance of me being “so polite it scares me” and wishing I was an ape and not self-conscious#well at least I've learned to be polite to these walking despair-inducers? right?#and pointedly say the right things to each so they wouldn't bother me again? right?#even though a lot of these things aren't what I actually want to say? ... siiiiiiiigh#Maybe I should give up and stop hoping that another friend would ever come along#and then just fully crawl into a desk drawer so to speak.#Recently a new friend did come along so I guess I need to try and hold on to that#but it's so damn hard and is starting to feel futile.
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arolesbianism · 4 months ago
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Was going to do some oni file digging but got too distracted playing the actual video game. Anyways look at her <3
#rat rambles#oni posting#her icon does not do her justice she is so fucking cute#I fucking adore her#anyways ny thoughts on the new dlc are mostly positive so far although I do have some nitpicks#now to be clear to the fellow lore enjoyers in chat this is a fairly log light dlc unfortunately#which doesnt suprise me since god knows they don't like talking abt dupes too directly in the logs and this dlc is all abt the bionic dupes#which I see as a positive thing generally but I do wish there was a smidgen bit more to justify why they can be printed now#just an extra my log at the start that says woah I found some fancy robo guys in my printing database would have been nice#but other than that I do like the continuing tensions between gravitas and the vexus institute brewing#and I also like the pronoun confirmation on jackie's probably mom I'm glad we're seeing more of her#Im also glad theyve so far had jackie say jack shit abt her probably mom and her going ons I hope it mostly stays that way#I'm open to getting some of jackies words on the family drama but I want it to be shown not told#so like idk. maybe a conversation between them or smth. and keep it vague and up to interpretation#I like my jackie characterization hard to find and unpack#as for the actual gamplay stuff Im definitely enjoying the different playstyle of the bionic dupes a lot so far#I havent gotten far enough into my test run to rly know how they feel in long term colonies but they are quite fun so far#I like how they add some pretty strong early game benefits while also adding a pretty important early research racing#I also enjoy their oxygen tanks but I have noticed that they tend to chose weird and sometimes extremely inconvenient places to refill#I don't think I rly understand their logic for chosing spots yet but I thinkkkk they might be trying to chose somewhere away from general#living areas? I could be wrong though I have seen them recharge directly by cots before but maybe its based on the pod location idk#but yeah this is me screaming at ulti to stop recharging by a tiny spec of oxygen surrounded by slimelung infested polluted oxygen#so basically sending them out to germy or unbreathable environments is theoretically safe most of the time but it's not as safe as a suit#that combined with their adverse reactions to liquid and extreme temperatures does still leave need for athmosuits#which is a good thing to be clear#in theory this also means that oxygen masks can still be of use to a bionic dupe even if it isnt necessary#especially if theyre making large transit that risks them running out of oxygen and trying to refill inside an contaminated area#but yeah if I had one complaint abt the bionic dupes it would be that I wish there were a few more#I get not wanting to bloat the dupe count but you can and will see duplicates within the early game#there isn't a lot of variety with them which makes bionic dupe heavy colonies feel less appealing to me
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darkmatilda · 3 months ago
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𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: your boyfriend decides he’s going to start calling you a cute pet name, but the problem is, none of them seem to suit you perfectly
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐰: glasses reid x baumember!female reader, so sweet you'll puke, case in the background, unsub is abducting elderly people, text messages, reader is kinda clingy, use of y/n because i had to
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 4k
𝐚/𝐧: requested by @trulymadlydarling <33 sorry if it ended up a bit too long again, but im starting to suspect that im physically incapable of writing a drabble lmao
"I'm tired. When will this week be over?"
"It's 9:13 on Monday."
With a groan, you leaned back against the seat in the corner of the jet, feeling the caffeine craving slowly take control of your body. 
"Just the thought of going to sleep sends intense shivers through me, caused by a heart-wrenching longing, and heavy tears slowly start gathering in my eyes," you complained, resting your head to the side.
Slightly turned, so you could look at Spencer sitting right next to you. His eyes, behind his glasses, also seemed a little tired, though he didn't manifest it as loudly. When you sat down next to him, he partially closed the book he was reading and rested it against the edge of the table in front of him.
"When you're sleep-deprived, you tend to get a bit dramatic," he pointed out in an analyzing tone, though you could catch a slight twitch at the corners of his lips.
"It's not drama, silly. It's the personification of pure exhaustion speaking through my lips."
"I love it when you try to argue with me and end up agreeing with me."
"You just love being right, don't you, smarty?" you huffed. "You love me too, but that's just a side note."
"Oh, now you're teasing. That's good. Means the sleepiness is wearing off," he diagnosed.
Sometimes you were genuinely amazed by how well he knew you, despite being together for such a short time—though maybe you shouldn’t have been. He was a profiler, just like you. Both of you were exceptionally good at reading each other, picking up on moods and small, everyday habits. You used to worry a little that this might make your relationship boring, stripped of surprises. But you quickly realized there’s nothing more captivating than another mind that matches your own and deeply understands its struggles. And sometimes, that feeling itself was a pleasant surprise.
"Next weekend, we're not going anywhere, okay?" you asked in a dreamy tone. The day before, you’d gotten back way too late, which was mostly to blame for your sleepiness. "Not even out of bed."
A look crossed Reid's face, somewhere between eagerness and a grimace.
"I’d love to," he assured with a genuine sigh, but then quickly added, "But I’m afraid I’ve already got something planned."
You tried to keep up the facade of your role, not showing too much excitement. You raised an eyebrow, a small smile tugging at your lips.
"I'm starting to suspect you have plans for every weekend for the rest of our lives."
"Actually, just for the next fourteen weeks," he admitted with a slight shrug, as if it wasn’t anything to be impressed by.
You weren’t sure if he was joking, and you didn’t get the chance to find out.
"Hey, lovebirds," Morgan called from the other end of the jet, where the whole team was gathered around a small table, ready to start discussing the case. "We're waiting for you."
For a while, you kept it a secret from them that you were starting to expect, but eventually, you had to come clean. Especially when Penelope, who knew everything, started taking every chance to send you suggestive glances or drop not-so-subtle comments. The rest of the team’s reaction wasn’t particularly emotional. They didn’t start screaming in surprise or jumping up and down in disbelief. They were profilers—they had figured it out. But they had enough decency to wait until you told them yourselves. No hard feelings, sweet Penelope.
You took the empty seat next to Gideon, right across from your boss and JJ. Reid settled into a chair on the side, where Morgan immediately poked him with his elbow.
"So, how’s it going in love land today?" Morgan asked, smirking. "Are puppies falling from the sky, and is it going to rain hearts this afternoon?"
You’d gotten so used to these kinds of jabs that, in perfect sync, you both rolled your eyes and opened your mouths to defend yourselves. It wasn’t like you two were constantly all lovey-dovey, exchanging kisses and holding hands at every chance! Morgan just loved to tease you, knowing how much it irked both of you when someone accused you of being unprofessional.
“Take it easy, it’s just the honeymoon phase," Gideon warned, not even looking at you as he adjusted his small square glasses, focusing instead on the folder in front of him. "You grow out of it."
On the laptop screen, Garcia’s face appeared, complete with an orange rose headband in her blonde hair.
"Well, hello there, babygirl," Derek greeted her, a small smile spreading across his lips.
"Hello, you charming, sweet, handsome thing…
Hotch exchanged a knowing look with Gideon.
“As you can see, not always," he muttered under his breath so quietly you almost didn’t hear it. JJ, sitting shoulder to shoulder with him, briefly lowered her amused gaze, trying to hold back a smile. "Shall we get started?"
The atmosphere shifted instantly, as if with the snap of fingers, when you began discussing the case. This time, it was a series of murders targeting men around the age of seventy-four.
"Are we sure this is the work of a serial killer?" Derek asked, his earlier light tone replaced with focus and seriousness. "I mean, looking at it, these guys don’t have much in common aside from their age."
“They’re all from the same area,” you noted, flipping through the victims' files. “But yeah, they don’t have much else in common. Different jobs, some married, some not…you think age is the reason the unsub picked them?”
“Looks that way,” Hotch said.
“About two weeks ago, his granddaughter reported him missing,” JJ informed you, pointing to a photo of an older man. “Ben Murphy, seventy-six years old. He’s from the same area, and all signs point to him being the unsub’s next victim. Each of the victims was held for an estimated three weeks, so there’s a good… a good chance he’s still alive.”
A brief silence settled over the room, heavy with the pressure of time.
“But why keep them alive for that long?” Spencer muttered, his brow furrowed in thought. “None of the bodies show signs of physical torture. They were killed with a lethal dose of insulin. If he chose that method, it doesn’t seem like he wanted to hurt them directly. The motive…the motive is unclear.”
The rest of the discussion revolved around trying to find connections and similarities to other crimes you were all familiar with, but you didn’t come up with anything groundbreaking that would significantly push the investigation forward. However, this didn’t stress you. You were just heading to the place where everything had taken place; you hadn't yet spoken to the victims' families, which often turned out to be crucial.
Just before the jet landed, you found yourself next to Reid, resting your elbow on his shoulder like it was some kind of convenient armrest while you pondered which card to discard from the ones laid out by JJ. This position made it much easier for him to sneak peeks at your cards, which he took full advantage of whenever he thought you weren’t looking (you were looking), so you had to hold them in a very awkward way to prevent him from seeing.
“C’mon,” JJ urged, as the time you were taking to think started to drag on.
You bit your lip.
“Easy for you to say. You’re winning,” you huffed, to which she flashed you a confident smile. “Great minds need time to come up with a solution. Right, Spence?”
He glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, shaking his head slightly.
“I don’t think that’s how the saying goes…”
"Ugh, I wanted you to defend me, you silly..."
“Guys, do you know what I’ve been thinking?” Morgan appeared above you, pulling his headphones off his head.
“Scientists haven’t figured out a way to peek into other people’s thoughts yet,” Reid answered him, staring at the card you had just discarded and raising an eyebrow. Seriously? You shrugged. You knew it was a pitifully bad move. “So no, we don’t, Morgan.”
“I went over the case files again…” Derek continued, completely ignoring the ironic comment from his friend. “Mr. Murphy went missing right after a date with his wife…”
“...And may I ask why you’re sharing this incredibly sad fact with us?” you interjected.
“They went to the botanical garden,” Derek continued.  Everyone stopped, staring at him with completely baffled expressions. “Then they hit up the American Revolution Museum. And I couldn’t help but think of you two. Sounds like the perfect date for you, right?”
You were the first to react, rolling your eyes dramatically. You placed your cards face down in front of you, then rested both hands on Reid's shoulder, leaning your chin on them. You let out a long sigh.
"Can we get just one day without fighting off the nerd allegations?"
"Hey, I'm not mocking you," Morgan said, raising both hands in the air. "Just pointing it out. So, what did you two get up to over the weekend?"
Reid turned his face slightly toward you, exchanging a look. Given how you were positioned, the frame of his glasses lightly brushed your forehead. Well, if you answered your teammate's question honestly, you’d be proving him absolutely right. Before you could manage to turn the question back on him, you were preempted.
"We went up to the hill to try and watch the meteor shower," Reid answered, sticking to the truth. Morgan tilted his head, staring at both of you with interest. "But the sky ended up being too cloudy, so we ended up finding a night exhibit at the museum about space..."
You could see the victorious expression slowly spreading across Derek's face.
"You’re sinking us, silly," you muttered into your boyfriend's arm.
"She's right, silly," Morgan echoed the nickname with exaggerated emphasis. "Anyway, I won’t bother you any longer. Enjoy your game. Oh, and by the way, JJ peeked at your cards when you weren’t looking…"
 "JJ!"
 "That’s a lie—"
"Did he really come over here just to compare us to a pair of retirees?" Reid wondered, watching Derek walk away.
"And to expose a cheater," you added, shooting a look at your friend across the table. You’d lifted your chin from Reid’s shoulder, but your hand still rested there, your fingertips lightly brushing against him—not that you even noticed. Did that even count as touching?
You pointed at JJ with determination. "We’re starting over."
"We’re about to land," she noted, placing her cards on the table and revealing her hand. "So I’ll let it go. But you’re getting your rematch, trust me."
 "Oh, I can’t wait."
She walked off, leaving the two of you alone in the corner of the jet. You noticed Reid had been watching you for a while, his expression unreadable. When you finally caught on and raised an inquisitive eyebrow, he just shrugged and gathered the cards from the table. His fingers shuffled them with effortless precision, the motion smooth and almost hypnotic.
You shook your head, tearing your gaze away from the cards and focusing on his face again.
“What thoughts are you hiding in that brilliant mind of yours, smarty?”
“Those exactly,” he replied almost immediately. He fell silent for a moment as he tucked the cards back into the box. You watched him closely, curiosity piqued, waiting to hear what he’d say next because you didn’t fully understand his response.
“You always call me something,” he added after a pause. “You know…”
“Pet name,” you supplied the term he was missing.
He nodded, and you stayed quiet for a brief moment, wondering if you really used them that often. You’d never given it much thought—they just slipped out naturally when you were teasing him. He’d never reacted to them before, and it had never even crossed your mind that it might cause him any discomfort.
Your expression grew a bit more serious as you shifted in your seat to face him directly.
“Does…does it bother you? Because, you know, if it does…”
“No!” he denied quickly, a faint hint of embarrassment flashing across his face, as if wondering whether he’d been too eager. He shifted into a calmer expression, letting out a small sigh. “No, that’s really not it. Actually…I like them. I like when you use them.”
A smile tugged at the corners of your lips as he admitted it. But the question still lingered in your mind—if that wasn’t it, then what was?
"I just realized…" he continued slowly, with a hint of hesitation. You noticed that both of you had lowered your voices compared to the lively chatter during the card game. It was as if, unintentionally, you'd created a small bubble, separating this moment from the rest of the team.
You liked his whisper. Sometimes, it felt stronger than his regular voice, mostly because whenever he lowered it, it was usually tied to some genuine emotion.
"That I never use them myself. I mean, I don’t call you anything other than your name."
"I don’t…I don’t expect that from you."
"I know. I know, it’s not like I thought you were expecting it. I just started wondering if maybe you'd like me to... to start doing it too. I admit, it’s not something I’m used to—"
"If you’re comfortable with it," you interrupted him without meaning to, feeling the need to emphasize it. Until now, it hadn’t mattered how he addressed you; it didn’t bother you when it was just your name. After all, hey, it’s not really the most important thing in a relationship. But when he suggested it, you felt a flutter of excitement in your stomach. "I’m serious, Spence. Don’t force yourself if it feels unnatural," you added, slowing down a bit, feeling the slight tremor in the corner of your lips. You noticed how his brow furrowed slightly when he caught that movement. Usually, it meant there was an idea forming in your head, and this time, it was no different. "But if you really want to…you should know I have some requirements in this area."
"Requirements?" he repeated, sounding confused, as if he thought he misheard. "Sorry, but what kind of requirements could you possibly have when it comes to pet names?"
“Oh, you have no idea how many,” you scoffed, leaning slightly toward him with a mischievous gleam in your eye. Reid blinked, clearly both curious and a bit apprehensive. “I know you, your mind... so I guess you shouldn’t be surprised that I’m expecting you to be creative. I mean no babe. No honey. 
Spencer stared at you for a moment, a look of disbelief crossing his face, before he let out a soft laugh.
"Alright, I’ve got it. No babe, no honey. Anything else to add to your list of demands?"
"Hmm, let me think," you murmured, to which he rolled his eyes. You didn't actually have anything else in mind; you just wanted to keep him in that state of uncertainty. But then, an additional thought occurred to you. "Oh, I know. It has to really fit with me. And with you. I want using it to come as naturally to you as possible. And I don't want you complaining to Penelope later, saying I forced you into it."
"Seriously, do you think I'd complain about you to Penelope behind your back?" he asked, pretending to be offended. He shook his head as if disappointed. "It's obvious I go straight to Morgan with stuff like this..."
You lightly tapped his arm.
"Is everything clear?" you made sure to ask, keeping your hand on his shoulder.
He glanced at your hand briefly before nodding.
"As clear as the sun. Has to be original and fit," he recited the two demands in their briefest form. He left his mouth slightly open, as if he wanted to add something, as if he was about to come up with the perfect nickname, but clearly, he hadn’t thought of one yet. He let out a short sigh of surrender. "This...this might take a while."
"Take your time, babe."
"Hey, you said we're not using that..."
"I only said you’re not using that”
"So what’s the point of giving me all these demands when..."
You both fell silent only when the jet neared its landing.
*
Working on the case had put a bit of distance between you. Well, it wasn’t unusual—there were often plenty of witnesses to interview, multiple locations to visit or search, and the team simply had to split up. Whenever Hotch assigned you somewhere, he always paired you up in the most complementary way possible, ensuring that your skills and experience balanced each other out. As the youngest members, relying more on brains than brawn, you and Reid rarely ended up partnered together.
And this time was no different.
You sat in the front seat of the car beside Gideon, who was driving. The two of you were headed to one of the victims' homes in silence, and you used the moment to glance at your phone—only to spot a message from none other than Reid.
spence: I’ve been thinking about what we talked about on the jet, and I think I have a few suggestions that meet all of your conditions.
spence: Sorry for texting, but I’m not sure if we’ll get a chance to see each other today, and I wanted to tell you that.
y/n: tell me
y/n: i mean u should be thinking about the case rn not about me
y/n: but i’m just gonna assume ur brain is multitasking enough to do both
spence: Because it is.
y/n: wow so humble
y/n: so???
y/n: what’s with the pet names
y/n: surprise me, genius
spence: Sorry, I don’t have time to write proper explanations for all of them or explain why I think they suit you.
spence: But a few of them are love, dear, darling.
y/n: sweet, but kinda basic
y/n: anyway up to you
y/n: u’ll be the one saying them
spence: Yeah, but you’ll be the one called them, and it has to be something you like. What do you think?
spence: Maybe something less typical like pumpkin
y/n: pumpkin HAHAHA
spence: ?
y/n: sry, i just can’t picture u saying that out loud
y/n: u browsing some top 100 pet names for ur gf site rn?
spence: No
y/n: i’m telling garcia to check ur browsing history, silly
y/n: don’t even delete it she’ll find it anyway
spence: I admit, pumpkin is awful
spence: I really like daisy, but i know you're allergic to pollen
y/n: how do u know i’m allergic to pollen?
spence: 👍🏼
It was truly an exhausting yet enlightening response. Anyway, you didn’t dwell on it too much. Sometimes he just knew. Together with Gideon, you had already arrived at the right address, so you shoved your phone back into your pocket and got ready to get back to work.
*
The words we are ready to deliver the profile were a milestone in every case you worked on.
They marked a gathering of the entire team, where you would collectively organize the information you had gathered during the investigation. Together, you had managed to uncover the unsub’s identity, but there was still the task of determining their motive and locating where they might be holding their still, as you hoped, victim. 
"The unsub spent most of his life caring for his severely ill, mentally abusive grandfather, of whom he was the only relative, which is why he now targets victims of a similar age," Derek began, crossing his arms over his chest. "He holds them for twenty-three days, mirroring the twenty-three years he dedicated to caring for him."
"He sees it as lost time, wasted. He never finished school, he was socially withdrawn. By repeating the same pattern with his victims, he believes he's getting something back," explained Reid, standing beside you, tapping one hand thoughtfully.
"This is all we have,” you muttered under your breath. ‘But we're missing the most important thing. Where is he? Where is he holding this man?”
“Garcia is working on that,” Hotch reassured you, pressing his finger to the earpiece.
“Give... give me some time,” Penelope asked in a distant tone, drowned out by the sound of keys being pressed rapidly. “ I think I have something... I need to check...ugh, fifteen minutes!”
After those words, she fell silent, leaving you all in anticipation. With a sigh, you crossed your arms over your chest, hoping she would find something. Reid stood by your side, slightly separated from the rest. Yet when he spoke, he lowered his voice to a murmur.
You stepped closer to hear him better.
"Vivi," he said softly.
You frowned at him, and his gaze hesitantly met yours—but once it did, it refused to let go.
"From the Latin vivus," he explained. "Full of life, vibrant."
You remained silent for a moment, savoring the echo his words left behind and the look on his face—just a hint of uncertainty creeping in as he waited for your reaction. If it weren’t for the fact that your team members were bustling around and the circumstances weren’t exactly romantic, you might have slipped under his arm. Instead, you settled for a small, sweet smile.
"That’s really pretty, Spence," you admitted, catching the faint shimmer in his dark eyes. "You think it suits me? Do you like it?"
He nodded slowly. You couldn't shake the feeling that something didn’t quite fit, that it didn’t sound natural coming from him. Maybe it was just your imagination? Or perhaps he was distracted, lost in more important thoughts while you were bothering him with pet names? You didn’t really have time to figure that out. At that moment, Garcia’s raised voice cut through the line, announcing that she might know where the unsub is holding his victim.
In the next moment, you were already on your way to the given address, listening to instructions on how to get inside without causing harm to the elderly man being held captive. When you and Reid reached him, he was loosely tied to a chair with rope, his head hanging limp against his chest. You crouched beside him, checking his pulse. It seemed like a simple loss of consciousness, likely caused by the stress and exhaustion of being held captive for over two weeks.
"Untie him," you said automatically to Reid, even though he had already started doing it before you spoke. "Can you hear me, sir? Damn it, I think we’ll need an ambulance..."
"Since when do angels curse?" A hoarse, weak whisper escaped the man's throat.
You exchanged confused glances with Spencer, momentarily frozen in place. The man's temples twitched before he gently lifted his head. His gaze landed on your face, and very slowly, he began to regain full consciousness.
"I died. And you're an angel, right?" he asked.
You sighed with a certain sense of relief. He was a bit delirious, but it seemed nothing serious was wrong with him.
"Don't worry, you’re not dead, sir. Actually, you’re perfectly fine and will be home soon..."
"Whatever you say, angel."
You saw Reid, who was untying the man, try to hide a amused expression on his face. Even after two weeks spent in captivity, Mr. Murphy managed to muster a bit of stubbornness. He told the arriving paramedics that he would only get into the ambulance if the angel who freed him went with him. And since you felt really sorry for the elderly man who had been kidnapped and whose mind was a bit frail, you did it.
You didn’t get back on the jet until late at night. Throwing yourself into the seat next to Spencer, you struggled to suppress another yawn. You didn’t even realize when your temple lightly rested against his arm, but through your partially closed eyelids, you noticed him closing the book he had been reading and placing it in his lap.
"Long day, huh, angel?" he asked. His voice was soft, almost a whisper, brushing your ears as you leaned against him.
"So, you spent the whole day trying to come up with the perfect pet name and ended up just going with the one some confused old guy called me?"you asked, opening your eyes and turning your head to look at him. Or rather, from the position you were in, at his jaw. "Watch out, Spencer Reid. I might accuse you of being lazy."
"I'm not lazy," he denied. "I'm just looking for inspiration in unusual places. Besides, it fits, don't you think? Angel."
"Mhm. Lazy."
With those words, you closed your eyes again, snuggling against him more comfortably. Spencer shifted slightly in his seat, using his free hand to tuck the hair falling onto your face behind your ear.
"Sweet dreams, angel."
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puptrefied · 6 months ago
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Hi! Do you take requests?
If so, I think a fic bases on this excerpt:
"she can't have her parents walking in again. poor cassandra…finding your daughter with her whole face buried in between a girl's thighs is not the most ideal situation"
of your cailtyn story would be phenomenal 🙏
If you don't, feel free to ignore this! :)
 let's start by saying caitlyn knows how to eat pussy and loves doing it :3 babe could have it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and even dessert. she wouldn't call herself an expert per se, but she's quite proud of her talent.
sure, receiving it feels good—but what's better than knowing you're making a girl cum with just your mouth? to cait, absolutely nothing. the moans, the hair-pulling, the thighs clenching against her head ♡ ugh chef's kiss.
( she came untouched a few times from it but you did not hear it from me ok? )
it's usually one the first things she does when you successfully sneak into her room. like a reward for getting through massive place she calls home without anyone noticing.
your back against the bed and legs immediately spread to expose the sight she absolutely adores. god, she could just stare at it forever and it'd still have the same effect in between her own legs. new panties are needed.
she doesn't dive in face-first like an animal the second your clothes are off, even if she does feel like a starved woman. she starts by slowly kissing your thighs and caressing any bit of skin she can, hand sneaking up your abdomen and ribs to massage your breasts a little—don't mind it.
“should I continue?” cocky because she already knows the answer is a breathy ‘yes, please’.
oh and she gets way more cocky once she finally starts working on you, soft and slow stripes and twirls with her tongue. nothing fancy yet; she wants to tease a little more.
the second your hips start bucking into her mouth though? girl, grab onto something because she takes the signs IMMEDIATELY.
legs propped up on her shoulder while her hands hold your hips down to keep control of them. the slurping sounds are almost pornographic with how sloppy she's being. no whine coming from you is gonna make her stop any time soon. she's enjoying it waaaay to much already.
if she's feeling nice she will add a finger or two while sucking ๋࣭⭑ curling them just right inside you, not in-and-out like crazy. her tongue’s already lapping at you pretty fast so no need to overwhelm you…yet.
she wishes you would look down at her for a sec to see that pretty expression better, but she also understands it's her own fault that your head is thrown back against the bed, clenching around her fingers while pulling at her hair. what a curse to be so good at pleasing girls.
she knew speeding up her movements wasn't a smart thing to do so late at night as soon as the loud whine that escaped your lips reached her ears. obviously louder than the previous ones.
the heavy thump on the door when it opened proved her right.
“caitlyn.”
of course it had to be her mother out of all people.
cassandra's eyebrows furrowed as she looked away with a small huff, trying to erase the sight from her mind by blinking and observing every detail on the window. she thought caitlyn was trying to sneak out and get involved with stuff she shouldn't like she had done in the past with serious cases or something, not this!
“It is 3 am; please take your… friend out of here.” a dismissive wave of her hand showed that there wasn't much room for arguing—none really because she's already out the door with a low mumble to herself before her daughter could say anything. tomorrow's talk is gonna be awful, that's for sure.
“just keep quiet some more, then you can go home, alright?” the blue haired girl softly whispered, leaning up and kissing the soft skin on your shoulder to reassure that you're not leaving until you get a few well deserved orgasms, her fingers already going back to rubbing small circles.
she's not gonna let a pretty girl leave her bedroom unsatisfied even if it means getting caught again.
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mirathescientist · 11 months ago
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hiii so I saw you said request were open! i really LOVE your writing so yk yk i had to ask but can you do like a story where ony does a being mean to my girlfriend prank but y/n is a reallll crybaby!! BYEE
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pairings: onyankopon x sensitive!reader
warnings: smut 18+, ony is a lil mean, reader cries a lil bit
a/n: so sorry it took me this long, life has been....lifing.
What goes around comes around
Actions have consequences, you knew this and yet you still decided to go with your plan.
Setting up your phone you smiled into the camera and started your intro.
“Hi, lovelies. Today we’re gonna do a get ready with me, while I tell you three reasons it's okay to cheat on your boyfriend.” 
Taking a quick glance in the mirror of your vanity, you could see the wheels working overtime in the handsome head that belonged to your boyfriend.
The decision on whether to be calm or tweak out playing tug of war on his brain. 
Settling on the thought that he misheard you he decided to go the calm route.
“Whatchu say, baby?” Deep voice contrasting against the soft tone of Jhene Aiko in the quiet room.
“Hmm?” You feigned innocence as you met his eyes in the mirror.
“I asked, ‘What did you say?’ ” His straightening posture and tone transition to demanding letting you know his patience was thinning by the second.
You were positive this would end with you folded in half, crying from overstimulation as he continuously ripped orgasm after orgasm from you. The thought only excited you and fueled your response. 
With a shrug of your shoulders you hummed a quick ‘I don't know’ and went back to your task.
“The fuck you mean youn know?” He chuckled in disbelief, hand running over his freshly maintained waves before coming down to rub the lower half of his face.
Opting to ignore him, you continued along with your routine, silently. 
“So you just gon ignore me?” Heavy thuds bouncing off the walls as he made his way to stand behind you.
The light pressure applied to your neck, as he tilted your head back having your thighs clench.
Oh, how you wanted to ditch the plan and jump his bones. Brown eyes glaring down into yours, as he tightened his grip. 
Feeling a little risky you decided to do the one thing Ony hates most. Roll your eyes.
“Mmm, aight” He nodded his head. Zero fucks given to the content you were creating as he lifted you from your chair and bent you over.
Never once slowing his assault even after you managed to tell him it was a prank through your moans and cries. 
The new information only encouraging him to go faster as your arousal trickled onto the wood floors while he required you to tell the camera why it wasn't okay to cheat on your boyfriend as he fucked you dumb. 
Usually, your consequences consisted of the audacity being fucked out of you whenever you did something to piss Ony off, but this time he decided to play a prank of his own.
Waiting a week to execute his plan, he chose to carry it out the day you came back from your girl's weekend. 
“You didn't hear me or get my texts?” A small pout forming on your glossy lips as you sat next to him, despite him taking up more than half of the bed. 
“Baby, I'm home” You sang as you wandered around the house looking for him.
Only to find him laid out on the bed as he watched an episode of Judge Mathis.
“I did” Eyes trained on the TV.
“Did something happen?” You gripped his jaw, forcing him to finally look at you.
“Nah, I just don’t feel good.” He removed your hand from his face and moved to the opposite side of the bed. 
“You need me to make you some soup?” Pout returning to your lips as he flinched away when you tried to check his temperature. 
“I’m good. You could leave me alone though.” 
You considered yourself to be very understanding when it came to relationships. Whether it was with family, a coworker, or a client, but more than anything when it came to your relationship with Ony. You understood he needed time to himself just as you did, but the way he said it was just… mean.
The stinging sensation of your eyes was becoming unbearable as the tears pooled in the inner corners of your eyes.
“Oh” Voice cracking despite swallowing the lump that lingered in your throat.
Your tone raised alarms in the man. His own heart gained a pace that matched yours as he saw the tears that began to spill from your eyes. 
“Wait, I'm sorry, ma. I was just playing. C'mere” Hand reaching out to hold you, only to pause when you flinched away from him.
“Mama, it was just a prank. I'm sorry, baby” Panic rising at the influx of tears flowing from your eyes. 
Seeing you cry from any negative emotion always pained him, but knowing he was the reason for the tears falling from your pouty face made him feel as if he failed in life.
“What do you mean it's a prank Onyankopon?” You huffed, the palm of your hand wet as you wiped away your tears. 
“I was just joking. You know how you did that video last week? I was doing something similar. I didn't mean to hurt you, mama. Please believe me” He pleaded.
Maybe it was the immense amount of love you had for him or that it'd be wrong to not forgive him when he put up with all your antics, but you couldn't stay mad at him for too long.
“You really need to work on your pranks. They're terrible” Pink satin pillow softly hitting him along the side of his head. 
“I know, I'm sorry, c'mere” He smiled, happy you were no longer crying and motioned for you to straddle him.
Caring less about the fact you were wearing a dress you crawled over to him, getting comfortable on his lap as you traced the small tattoo of your name behind his ear,
“You know you're gonna have to make it up to me right?”
“Mhm” He mindlessly hummed, eyes trained on your lips before he could no longer resist.
Low groan escaping his chest as he pulls you closer, tongue tracing your bottom lip before diving into your mouth.
“Ony” You whimpered as his lips moved down to your neck, peppering gentle kisses along your skin before sucking on the areas that made you weak. Your body craving for some sort of friction as you ground your hips down onto his.
“I know, mama” He murmured. His fingers sliding up your dress before slipping past the waistband of your panties, digits immediately coming into contact with the slick that was pooling in between your chubby thighs.
“Lil ma already soaked for me” He groaned against your warm skin. A small bruise forming where he was previously sucking. 
“Ony, stop teasing” You whined as he slowly rubbed your clit, the pads of his fingers barely grazing the bud.
With a slight smirk on his lips his fingers gravitated to your entrance, slowly rubbing at the pulsing hole before his fingers worked their way into your walls.
Fingers knuckles deep as he curled them against the soft spongy flesh against your walls. 
“Need you inside now” You pouted, craving something more than the two digits plunging in and out of you.
“Yeah?” He mumbled as he pulled out his fingers. Placing the pads on your tongue as you sucked your arousal off his digits, just as you would do his cock.
Watching you with lust filled eyes he removed his fingers from your mouth, and wrapped a hand around your neck before pulling you in for a nasty kiss. His tongue exploring the path down your throat while you rocked against the growing bulge in his pants.
Pulling away to fumble with the waistband of his pants he pulled down his sweats just enough to release his throbbing cock. Standing tall with his viens prominent and tip leaking a small amount of precum.
“Ride your dick, ma” He pulled your panties to the side rubbing his tip along the slick folds of your puffy pussy, before lining up with your entrance and helping you sink down onto him. Hiss escaping him as your warm walls engulfed him.
“Ony s'so big" You whined in his ear. Allowing him to lift you up and down his cock at a deliciously slow pace, your walls contracting around him at every movement.
“Doing so good fa me.” Two toned lip stuck in between his pearly white teeth as he bucked his hips up to meet your thrust, tip grazing against your cervix.
“Fuck. Faster, daddy, please” You gasped, head resting in his neck as he did all of the work.
Listening to your plea, he picked up his pace, thrusting deeper into you. The sound of your pooling arousal, slapping flesh, and your mixed moans filling the room, atmosphere becoming nastier by the second. 
“I love you so fucking much” His arms wrapping tightly around your waist as you tried to run when he increased his pace.
“Say it back, ma” He grunted. Palm landing on the flesh of your ass.
Tired off your running, his hands gripped your hips and he pulled you off him, flipping you over onto your back before ramming back into you.
“Ohh, shit, Onyyy” You cried, knees near your ears as he pushed your legs back.
"Say it or I'm stopping" He threatened. Eyes focused on your sopping pussy sucking him in, sticky ring of arousal dripping from the base of his cock.
“I- mhmph love you too Ony, so much” Bed creaking under the speed and force of his thrust.
Releasing your legs he leaned down, lips immediately on yours in a sloppy kiss. 
“I'm so close, pa" A mixture of moans and whimpers escaped your agape mouth, nails digging into his back with every thrust.
“Mhm, I know, baby. Let go for me” He grunted, reaching between your bodies to rub his thumb against your clit.
A series of curses left your mouth as you creamed around him. Walls contracting so tightly that he had no other choice but to cum.
“Fuuuck” He groaned, hips stilling inside you as he flooded your walls.
“I'm sorry for making you sad, baby. I love you so much, I'll never do anything to hurt you again” He whispered into your neck.
“I know Ony, I forgive you"
Pulling out he kissed you once more before laying flat in front of you, your thighs on each side of his head.
"Lemme show you how sorry I am, yeah?"
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always-just-red · 7 months ago
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Hii! I've seen some Pregnancy scenario with LaD's men, but I have this HC-- personally for Sylus. That when fem!reader got pregnant, he didn't really understand how the Pregnancy hormones work, until he experienced one and he got confused how he should act or react because it's feels like he's walking on landime, one wrong move/word, she'd throwing tantrum or being sulky at him
I've heard from my Friend who got pregnant before, when she craving something and her Husband showing any form that he can't fulfill what she's craves, she felt her heart broken, and she'd sulk and acted as if he just cheated on her. The problem is, she always craved something that didn't even exist at that moment😂, she's craving certain type of Mango while it's not even that Mango season, so nobody selling it. He literally being desperate to negotiate with her cravings
So... Can I request a scenario smiliar like that? It doesn't have to be mango, or any foods. Just... how Pregnancy hormones or Cravings could make Sylus got frustated lol
Aaaaa anon this is adorable, thank you! We love making Sylus suffer in cute and harmless ways. He's always asking for trouble, so let's give him some! 😌💅
Something Sweet
Sylus x Reader 🩸
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Summary: Sylus knows how to get what he wants. Getting what you want might be a little more tricky...
Genre: fluff!
Warnings/Additional tags: female!reader, IMPLIED pregnant!reader (pregnancy not actually mentioned or described- just hormones being hormones ✌), established relationship, canon pet names, a lil bit of roleplay because Sylus refuses to leave his Mystic Adventure era
| Word count: 2.1k | Masterlist | Opt-in to my taglist here!
Disclaimer: Characters belong to Love and Deepspace. All work is my own, so please don't repost or plagiarise!
“Sy, d’you know what I’m craving right now?”
“Always, sweetie.” Sylus doesn’t look up from his book. “Not now, though. I’m tired.”
Morning sunlight streams through the gaps in your living room curtains, casting pale yellow shapes over the floor. A shard of it has been inching over the sofa towards Sylus, the sharp edge now grazing the side of his face. He shifts, ever so slightly, away from its touch. His eyes are open but heavy.
“No,” you scold, leaning forwards to swat at him with your book. “That’s not what I meant, you narcissist.”
He chuckles with his usual low timbre— his gaze still not lifting— and the sound is deeper for how close he is to sleep. He wants to give in to it, you can tell. When he turns a page, the movement is languid, soft. You’re losing him.
“Sy,” you say again, then with more of a whine: “Sylus.”
His eyes flutter closed as he draws in a deep breath. His hand raises, his fingers stretching to pull his reading glasses from his face. They’re set down on the arm of the chair beside him, along with the book, and he turns to you with a smile. “What are you craving, sweetie?”
You rest your book on your stomach. Your legs are stretched out over Sylus’s lap, and his hand finds one of your feet, massaging an ache from it as you begin your speech. “Do you remember that café we used to go to? The one we found when it started raining in the park that day? We didn’t think it was open, but then the owner knocked on the window and said we could—”
“Yeah?” His hand moves to your other foot.
“Well, they make these—”
“Macarons.”
“You remember?”
His smile widens like he remembers vividly. “Kitten, how could I forget? I’m still jealous of that sweet little treat. You’ve never made that face for me, and believe me—” he wiggles one of your toes— “I’ve tried.”
That had been one of the only times you’d truly caught him off-guard, back when your feelings for one another were unnamed and uncharted. The rain had been drumming against the café window, and you’d heaved Sylus’s damp coat from your shoulders— giggled at the raised eyebrow and the sarcastic ‘…thanks’ he’d given in turn. One hot drink later, you were lifting a pastel pink macaron to your lips, taking a delicate bite and failing to stifle a tiny, almost euphoric moan.
You remember realising yourself: blushing profusely and expecting some remark, some ridicule, but none ever came. Sylus’s eyes were wide, dark, fixed upon your still parted mouth.
After a few of the longest seconds of your life, he’d dragged the plate with the rest of the macarons away from you and muttered something about how you had better not do that again.
“They’re still the sweetest things I’ve ever tasted,” you tease now, just as you’d wrestled him for that plate back then, set on eating every last macaron.
He makes a hmph as he idly runs a finger over the part of your foot he knows is ticklish. His expression is distinctly grumpy, but it falters as you laugh and try to writhe away from him.
You’re quickly out of breath. “Sylus?”
“Mmm?”
He glances up at you and you smile sweetly, head tilting. “Please?”
His coat on a rainy day. The entire plate of macarons in the end; he’s never been very good at denying you anything. For the first time since you’d stirred him from his book, however, he appears genuinely regretful. “You’re forgetting something, sweetie,” he murmurs gently. “Why did we stop going to that café, hmm?”
You shrug.
“It closed, kitten,” he sighs. “Months ago.”
“What?”
Not only did you already know that— you actually visited the café on its final day. The owner was telling you stories: he was moving somewhere warmer, closer to family, and he needed all the funds he could get. Sylus had snuck an obscene amount of money into the man’s tip jar whilst you acted as a distraction. You both had fond memories of that place; it was nice to make one more.   
It's all coming back to you and you’re struck by a wave of nostalgia. You want to go back there. You can’t go back there. It doesn’t exist anymore, and you’ll never taste sweetness like that again.
Your mouth has gone dry.
“Sweetie?” Sylus prompts, because he notices you’re far away. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah,” your voice wobbles, “I just really wanted… I mean, I really needed one of those—”
“… Macarons?” he finishes for you.
You burst into tears, and one day, you’ll tally this as another time you took the man by surprise. His face drops instantly— lost, for a moment— before he slides your legs from his lap, allowing him to lean closer. “No, no, no,” he coos, “don’t cry, kitten, please. I didn’t mean to… well, I didn’t realise…”
He doesn’t know what to say, and he always knows what to say. He set you off with a single word and now he’s stuttering like sentences are all possible landmines. He tries his luck again, putting a foot forward: “Listen to me. I’ll go to the store. Would that be alright? Or perhaps there’s another café that could—”
You explode: sobbing even more viscerally. Your whole body shakes with it.
Sylus has frozen. He watches on helplessly as you cry, blabbering about the macarons you can’t have and the café you can’t return to. Across the room, even Mephisto has hunched down on his perch, though he issues a few, spirited squawks, maybe in solidarity with your breakdown, or maybe in protest of it.
It’s like a catalyst. You cry more: burying your face in your hands because what the hell is wrong with you? It’s not a big deal. It’s not a big deal, so why do you feel sick? And then there’s Sylus— your Sylus, devoted and adoring— and here you are, punishing him for something beyond his control.
You look up from your hands, desperate to apologise, but he’s gone. More shards of sunlight paint his empty seat and catch all that’s left of him: a few crow feathers, glistening like onyx. Mephisto is gone too, and the room is quiet, save for you snivelling and feeling sorry for yourself.
“Sylus?” you call out into the empty morning.
It isn’t his fault, not really. You wouldn’t want to be around you, either.
Something brushes over your cheek, and your tired eyes open.
The sun has ebbed back behind the curtains and the ceiling light has taken its place, casting artificial highlights over everything in reach: the coffee table, the closed-up flowers at its centre and a mug of tea that’s gone cold. Sylus is in front of you too, backlit and soft like a daydream, and he—
He left you.
“Sy?” you whisper warily, because the context is coming back to you slowly, piece by piece.
“Hey,” he coaxes, voice as honeyed as whatever’s turned the air sweet.
You blink, rubbing sleep from your eyes and relishing the warmth of his hand on your face. Then you slap his shoulder. “Hey, really? That’s all you’ve got— hey?”
He’s kneeling for you— on the floor, beside the couch— so you can meet his eyes. He settles his chin thoughtfully on the edge of the seat, his nose almost touching yours. “What would you prefer, sweetie?” His lips are close to yours too. “Good evening, my beloved? Greetings, my queen?”
“How about sorry?” you snap, because he isn’t cute and he isn’t charming.
He pouts. “Why sorry?”
“Because you left, Sylus!” You sit up straighter, and your phone tumbles out of your lap. Its screen is still lit-up from a few hours ago, showcasing a very one-sided conversation and a rant you never actually sent, because it’s still in the text box.
You vaguely recall writing it, so you try to snatch the phone from Sylus’s hand as he plucks it from the floor. He’s more alert than you. More co-ordinated. He keeps it out of your grasp as he reads the unsent message, an eyebrow raising.
It was a lot of things— colourful, creative— not entirely tasteful. “My, my, your highness,” he tuts, “so this is the treatment your valiant knight receives for undertaking your quest?”
“You’re not valiant,” you rebuke, and you manage to wrestle your phone from him. “You’re—”
“A heartless prick,” he finishes casually, quoting your message with a chuckle. He takes your free hand and kisses the back of it, refusing to let you pull away. “And whose fault is that, I wonder?”
“You can have your heart back.”
“Nope. You’re stuck with it, sweetie. With me, too. Now—” he sits back on his knees— “would you please ask me about my quest?”
The analogy is lost on you. You sit fully up, looking down at him. “What quest, oh valiant knight?”
His lips form a smirk; he just loves when you play along. “Close your eyes.”
You do— whether you’re queen or not. You hear him shifting aside, and then there’s a snap of his fingers. The air changes, warping like thick, liquid smoke, and you know he’s using his Evol. “Open,” he commands.
And there on the coffee table, freshly teleported, is a plate of macarons the colour of cherry blossoms. As if anticipating the comparison, Sylus pulls a handful of pink petals from his pocket and blows them up into the air so they can spiral down on the scene. He watches them. Then you. “Ta-da,” he proclaims, his tone dry but full of humour.
You’re prone to hyperbole nowadays, but this is without a doubt the best thing you have ever seen.
“Sylus,” you gasp in disbelief, “how did you—”
“It doesn’t matter,” he says; the story isn’t for today, and he’s very, very tired. A few weeks from now he’ll tell you about how he tracked down the contact information of the owner of the old café. How he spent an hour on the phone bargaining for a certain macaron recipe, and several more hours in the kitchen, trying to get them perfect. “Now, they might not be exactly the same, sweetie. But I did try to—”
You surge forwards, capturing his lips in a kiss. It’s so impulsive— so reckless— that you almost tumble down from the couch, but he catches you, steadies you, and your hand is gripping the soft of his hair as he kisses you back. Slowly, his mouth not leaving yours, he lifts you back into your seat.
“Easy, sweetie.” His voice is low as he pulls away, and though he turns his face from you, you can make out the blush on his cheeks. He settles back into his kneeling position on the floor. “I have one more surprise for you. Do try to control yourself.”
He retrieves a small, complete flower from his pocket, albeit one a little dreary from its journey. Sylus smiles triumphantly as he holds it out to you, and he was right; you do want to throw yourself at him. Instead, you take the flower and lean forwards, tucking it behind his ear before he can protest. He’d tilted closer to help you, and he sits back with an exasperated tsk when you’re done.
“It suits you,” you grin.
He yawns. “Everything does.”
You don’t want to get into trouble, so you shimmy to the very edge of your seat and carefully— showing tremendous restraint— reach out to take his face in your hands. “You’re amazing, Sy. Thank you for doing all of this for me, but…”
“But…?”
“I missed you. I like macarons, yeah,” you smile, “but I’d much rather have you.”
This time, he can’t hide his face and the way it goes pink, like the blossom behind his ear. His cheeks are warm beneath your palms. “You couldn’t have said that before I spent the whole day—”
His voice is strangled as you keel towards him— slow and deliberate— to thread your arms around him and pull him into a hug. He tenses for a moment, then wraps his arms around you too: holding you tightly, keeping you from falling any further. You can feel his hand stroking your back and he hums as you give him a gentle squeeze.
“Such a lovely moment, kitten,” he muses, your head on his shoulder. “I do hope it’s sincere, and not— say— an excuse for someone to get her paws on the macarons behind me.”
There’s another moment of quiet.
“Don’t be silly, Sy,” you retort, but your mouth is full, your cheeks are stuffed, and not a single word of it is intelligible.
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yanmuffins · 7 months ago
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how are we feeling about a yandere! platonic! batfamily x neglected! vampire! reader with some heavy v*mpire t*e m*squer*de influece in honor of halloween season?? here's my cringefail concept that i might turn into a fic.
tw: neglect mention, non-con biting, non-con turning since reader isn't given a choice in being a vamp.
you're bruce's firstborn child who's lived in the manor for most of your life, with alfred being your primary caretaker and bruce not giving you much thought throughout your childhood - you're not fit to be robin (though he tried), you're not in the streets of gotham in danger or causing trouble - you're a well-behaved child who never gets in the way and never asks for too much. you understand when he breaks promises, when alfred shows up to special events in his stead because he's too busy with work, too busy being batman, too busy caring for troubled children who need his attention more than you do.
even as you see him make time for his other children, for his romantic affairs - even as the relationships you build with your siblings never goes beyond shallow small-talk and awkward silences, you understand. they have their own lives to worry about, their own issues, so many things they can bond over with each other but not with you. you're not a robin, you're not a vigilante, you're not athetically inclined and even as you do your best to be accomodating and warm, you can never get past their walls.
even when damian arrives and gets more familial bonding with bruce than you ever had, you lower your head and you walk away. you take his berating with a condescending smile and a disappointed sigh that makes him so irrationally angry, because he's a troubled child and he doesn't know any better.
you're ordinary, boring in comparison to them. you fade into the background with and without effort. you're just... easy to forget about. you don't require special care, or guidance, you don't go overboard trying to beat the living shit out of criminals like jason, you don't try to sneak out of the manor like damian. you don't disappoint. you don't impress. you're just... there. when bruce checks up on you, there's a signature smile you've perfected over the years you give him, telling him you're perfectly fine.
and you grow up. you grow distant. a bit of resentment, but you keep it locked deep within your heart. you are a student in gotham university, and you get intern for a big-shot from los angeles who just moved to gotham to expand their business. they shower you with praises and attention, taking you all sorts of places, introducing you to all sorts of people. because your father hid you from the public eye for most your life, the fact you're a wayne goes mostly unnoticed.
there's just one strange detail: it's a full-on night-shift. ironic, you concede, that you couldn't escape the nights of gotham by being a civilian. your family notices it, too: you don't dress like you used to, like you prefer to, there's a waver in your usually composed steps, bags under your eyes from the lack of sleep, an apparent mind-fog whenever someone asks you a question, a certain distance in your gaze. you sleep the days away, and the amount of times they've seen you entering and leaving less-than-ideal places (that one nightclub they have noticed suspicious activity on? just what are you doing there?) for a sheltered young adult to be during their patrols is starting to become concerning.
but you swear it's fine. it's all fine. you're fine. stop meddling.
and then there's the night - before any of the batsiblings start to really get a grip on what's going on with you, before bruce can give you a stern lecture on how you're exposing yourself to danger and how he's so disappointed and didn't expect this from you and force you to quit your job and just go back to how you were before - when that eccentric bigshot you're working for brings you to the VIP room at the nightclub, says you have potential, babbles on and on about how far you're gonna go, making you bubble inside with pride and happiness at finally being fawned over for a change.
and then they kill you.
draining you of all your blood, feeding you a bit of theirs before locking you up in a room where you'll be provided with proper refreshments to keep your hunger at bay until you've become a fully-embraced fledgling ready to learn the ins and outs of your new... unlife. you are a wayne, firstborn child of gotham's local billionaire, the camarilla's golden ticket to taking over gotham. they all expect much of you.
meanwhile, the text in alfred's phone says you'll be gone for a while. business trip to paris, your first ever, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity a rich girl with ample privilege and access to private jets couldn't possibly refuse. he doesn't believe it for a second, not even when you call to assure everything is just fine. he knows you're not, everyone knows you're not. there's a tracer in your phone and guess what, you're not in paris.
there is no comeuppance for your sire when the batfamily breaks you out of captivity, as they are long gone by the time the incident is ruled out as a bunch of goons targeting the wayne family for money (nevermind no ransom was ever requested). they'll come back for you, they swear, plans just got... delayed by this preposterous man wearing a bat-suit. until then, do as they taught you, keep yourself fed, don't break the masquerade.
but your newfound freedom lasts exactly a car ride to the wayne manor before you're prohibited from leaving the house for the foreseeable future. when the hunger comes, you can either tell them what happened or let yourself loose with a risk of hurting someone. when the sun shines through the windows and burns your skin, you won't be able to hide it anymore. the choice between your now overbearing family, still unsure how to help you, and the tutelage of your sire, being subjected to all the plans they have for you. the vampires are slowly crawling their way into gotham, and it's only a matter of time before batman becomes a problem.
you remember looking up at the bat signal shining in the dark skies of gotham city and feel a pang of relief in your chest, knowing it had nothing to do with you. now it just makes you feel anxious.
it's ironic, you concede, that you couldn't escape the nights of gotham by being a civilian.
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peachyscenes · 1 month ago
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bed chem | ateez x gn!reader
how i think ateez are in bed. yes i listened to bed chem on my way home from work lol.
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hongjoong
i think hongjoong is the type to be quick about things. as much as he'd love to really explore your body, kiss, and tease you, he's a little impatient. not to say he wouldn't do foreplay, he's actually very careful with that, i just think he'd get too excited about the main course of your rendezvous night. he just wants feel you on his cock, he wants to fuck the soul out of you, he wants to reduce you into a deranged, yearning version of yourself, and he thinks he can do that without the extra steps. though if you asked or if he's feeling really sappy, he'd definitely take the time to love you more slowly. aftercare with hongjoong is him drawing you both a bath. he's very cuddly afterwards, so he'd gladly hold you in the warm water while you both talk. he'd probably accidentally fall asleep in the tub, so definitely wake him up lightly (and try not to tease him if you think you can't go another round).
seonghwa
i think seonghwa is the type to really like simmering into sex before turning up the notch. he'd love all the extra steps. his ideal night would be some wine and fruits that you both enjoy together, which then leads to kissing and heavy petting, which then leads to grinding and you both slowly stripping each other (gosh he's so in love with you). kisses on exposed skin as clothes come off one by one, the heat of the fireplace illuminating your body and face just right. his heart picks up and he's scared that you'll hear it, but even if you can, you hold it gently with your own hands. aftercare with seonghwa consists of him holding you close to him, ghosting his fingers down your spine as he calms down with you. words of affirmations leaving from his lips as he kisses your face.
yunho
i think yunho is serious when it comes to sex. sure, there'd be some giggles here and there, but on nights where he wants to show you how much you mean to him, he's very sensual. he'll tease you a little to have you wanting more. he'll have you chasing the ghost of his touch on your legs. he'll have you squirming at his barely there kisses on your skin, begging him to really kiss you. he'll strip you down naked first and you don't feel embarrassed because yunho has always been transparent. he wants you, and bad. yunho has a little possessiveness to him, he loves leaving marks in areas only you can see. it gets him excited knowing where they are, like a little secret between you two. aftercare with yunho is quiet. it's not uncomfortable, it's more of a basking in each other's presence as he helps wipe you down and you kiss the scratches you left on him.
yeosang
i think yeosang is assertive in bed. he's often seen being taken care of, choosing to follow the crowd and staying quiet to better understand the instructions. however, with you, he'll tell you exactly what he wants. he's very vocal about what he wants to do, what he wants you to do. yeosang does not hesitate, feeling very sure of whatever he says. roles aren't really established between you two . whenever you both have sex, it's about what feels right in the moment, though if asked, he'll admit that he's taken the lead more than a couple of times. yeosang is not shy about sharing his thoughts in bed. he'll moan into a shared kiss about how good you feel on his cock, how hot he feels, how beautiful you look underneath him. another one to secretly mark your body, but not out of possession, more so to remember the night. aftercare with yeosang is a bit clumsy. he'll be sure that you both drink water and are settled and ready to sleep when he remembers that you both need to use the bathroom.
san
i think san is the type to be romantic about sex. he loves the intimacy, the trust, the love that comes with it. tell him you love him and he'll plunge into you even harder. hold him close as you're both in missionary while he confesses everything he loves about you. definitely the type to hold hands in the act. and to kiss your hands when they're on him. he will always make love to you, it's never a fuck for him. he definitely likes the softness of morning sex as well. when the sun is just coming out, and the rays of the sunrise hit your body so prettily as you ride him. he's down to do it anytime you want, but anniversary sex, birthday sex, really any important date is very special to him, because he can show you just how much you mean to him. aftercare with san consists of him peppering kisses everywhere on your body as he praises you for doing so well.
mingi
i think mingi would be sweet in bed. he's very tall, and gives off sexy, "freak in the sheets" vibes, but people forget just how soft he is. mingi's a little shy too. he'll blush when he undresses you, he'll blush when you undress him. please, kiss his thighs. mark them up, scratch them a little, just give them attention because he LOVES that. another vocal man. he'll tell you how pretty you look when you go down on him before feeling flustered at his own actions. mingi doesn't mind taking the lead, but he likes it better if you do instead. he likes being dotted on, cared for. talk to him sweetly too, he hates degradation and feels that it throws the atmosphere off if anything "mean" is being said. aftercare with mingi is giving each other massages. he'll then kiss you all over your face and the biggest smile plastered on his own.
wooyoung
i think wooyoung is unpredictable in bed. he's constantly looking up trends between couples online, therefore when something peaks his interest, he'll want to try it with you immediately. his favorite trend that he "discovered" is outercourse aka non-penetrative sex aka dry humping. he especially likes dry humping if you're wearing one of his button up shirts. wooyoung is a tease as well. he's going to coo at you if you wear something special for him. "oh? what's this?", he'll ask with the biggest grin on his face as he circles around you, his fingers grazing the material, getting up close and personal to "inspect" the fabric. the type to pin you down on the nearest surface as his breath ghosts over your neck. aftercare with wooyoung consists of him cleaning you up, dressing you in his clothes, and making you a soup to eat with him.
jongho
i think jongho is the type to be a little silly in bed. it's not always, but he's very giddy about having sex with you. his heart is thumping through his ears as he undresses you, and out of shyness and happiness and all positive thoughts, he'll let out a giggle as he undresses himself. BODY WORSHIP!! he loooves your body and so positions where he can admire you are perfect for him. ride him, get on top of him, he's in heaven. definitely uses his strength to his advantage and will tease you with it. you will absolutely wake up with love bites on your chest and he is not sorry for it lol. the type to put on r&b and light some candles to set the mood even further. aftercare with jongho consists of you getting a full body massage from him and then afterwards you both do facials while watching a shared tv show.
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writermani4c · 4 months ago
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Me and the Devil | Count Orlok x Reader
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summary: You're a nun at an isolated convent. He is in your mind, eating away your mind bit by bit, soon destroying the pillars of your faith. Until you have no choice but to surrender to him, he will destroy all that is necessary.
warnings: He's a vampire. Of course he doesn't have to play fair, does he? There is mind control and there are some rather bloody deaths. I don't think I'm really good with that, I don't think it's too heavy, but it's good that there's a warning.
:: We girls can't bear to see a vampire who is completely obsessed with a woman, who will spill as much blood as it takes to get her, and who has already fallen in love with her. I'm completely obsessed by Nosferatu, even though I couldn't get a screening where I live. This is basically my brain being eaten away by Bill Skarsgard's hunger… I'm always hungry for Bill, but at this point in time I could be kept in a secluded castle to give birth to all of his babies, and I mean that. I hope you enjoy this. By the way, good luck in 2024!
The high-pitched squeak penetrated the stones of the convent, seeping like moss into the soft, bumpy cracks in the porosity, and imitated the soft voice of a wanderer saying a prayer in a dead language, older than time. His understanding was forgotten by men, but that didn't silence him. That voice was still preserved in the air that surrounded you like a thick mantle covering a thick cotton habit, as light as the coat of a holy lamb, which covered you from head to toe in a sacred enclosure. 
Through the narrow window of his room, all that showed were the orange Carpathian mountain ranges in the middle of a mild autumn, with the taste of hot tea and the smell of a fire burning in the evening, when the temperature dropped at night.
The mountain ranges and that stone fortress, far from the convent and yet terribly close.
Every day, the castle seemed to move. When you weren't watching it with your stoic expression, it seemed to grow tentacles over its foundation and creep up slowly. Depending on the day, it seemed further away, with only the tip of its towers appearing between the hills. But when you were getting ready for bed, tucked up in the modest comfort of your little room and wrapped in the soft blanket of your nightgown, the castle seemed terribly close to you, so close that you could feel its evil aura as you raised your hand in a vain attempt to touch it. 
He was calling you. A strength, a terror, a hungry longing.
Come to me, my eternal beloved. 
Tormented, you choked on your own breath. The deep, seductive sound of that voice crept under your blankets at night, and under the modest garments of your nightgown, finding your soft, easy-to-creep skin. His touch was physical, even if you often groped your skin in search of those hands and found nothing but loneliness, and intimacy. So intimate that not even the devil himself, cruel and cunning, could emulate such evil in his attempt to corrupt the Lord Jesus in his trial in the desert.
It scared you.
The feeling of intimacy that belongs to something, that is lost until it is regained. That invisible hand, as well as the voice that only you heard, shook your sense of self and made you feel the narrow mattress slipping off your back, the thin blanket sliding off your body and your fear of dissolving as you floated above the bed. A demonic, ghostly vision, with your eyes rolled back in a trance that nothing and no one could stop.
You felt it, more intimately than you felt anything else, and that was scarier than any of the other traps in hell.
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— My child — greeted the voice on the other side of the wooden confessional booth. The only voice you could turn to in times of extreme need. Father Lengyel was an elderly authority in the convent, as was Mother Superior Illés. If it hadn't been for that, you wouldn't have had the courage to confide in him your greatest fears, seeking the reassurance of his gentle voice. — In your praiseworthy stillness, I can see that something is troubling you. You owe me your ordeal, child.
— Father, help me! — Tired and sleepless after a night awake, with your knees against the floor praying to ward off the tentacles of evil, you felt your eyes grow heavy as you saw the low, hunchbacked shadow of the priest. — I'm cursed. I didn't do anything about it, but I know that the shadow that haunts me was born with me, wrapped around me like an umbilical cord that has never been amputated. I feel it and sometimes I hear its impatience calling my name.
— Fear not, my child. No shadow of a curse is stronger than our Lord's mercy on your spirit, waking you up every morning with a breath of life.
But maybe it's not our Lord, you thought bitterly. You almost disbelieved that God would even work in your cause, probably deciding to wash his hands of you and leave you alone on your ordeal. This thought angered you, wondering how God, your holy God to whom you dedicated your time and efforts to serve with blind devotion, could leave one of his daughters helpless when the claws of the nefarious one threatened to entangle her? 
And anger, even though it was blasphemy with your Father, was easier to manage in your restless spirit than the fear that perhaps God hadn't let go of your hand. Perhaps he was there, following in your footsteps not long ago, weeping blood for not being able to do anything to prevent the evils that awaited you. Maybe there were forces greater than the salvation you blindly tried to reach like a child afraid of the dark.
That thought you swept from your mind, because if that thing was stronger than the Savior you were turning to, there would be no reason to be reluctant in its evil call.
— I beg you, Father, with all the infinite goodness of your being, pray for my soul. 
— I will, my child. You too, pray for wisdom and that the Lord, in his infinite love, will bring you comfort. 
When you left the confessional, you got down on your knees in front of the proudly erected altar. The suffering face of that poor man in his moment of greatest difficulty never comforted you, but inspired you. If even he, the son and Messiah, found the purpose to remain firm on the narrow road of faith, you too would find the strength to stay in the light. You would have to pass through that tortuous valley to have your healing.
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You weren't the youngest in the convent, but you weren't the oldest either. When you arrived, with your only bag with a few belongings and a photo of the home you grew up in, the home that always seemed unworthy of your torments about the terror that was trying to get its claws into you, there were older girls who took you in as a younger sister, teaching you the trade so that you could also teach those who came to the convent after you. This was the mission: you didn't serve God's pure purpose alone, but learned from your sisters so that you could teach others in a cycle that stretched out like an infinite patchwork quilt. 
Among his protégés, the young Agnes was the most cherished. So young and intelligent, she was your faithful dog in the convent corridors. Agnes, who came from a poorer and more literate family than yours, found comfort in listening to you read the Psalms, the book they were given to study. Agnes' chubby cheeks and earthy brown eyes reminded you of the child you would never have, the one you could never run your hand through and love. The Lord was merciful to you in giving you a sister to fill that void and you gave her all the attention you could. Your beloved Agnes sat next to you while you ate your lunch in silence. The soup was thinner, to save supplies for the harsh winter, and the bread was smaller. All deposits were saved and all fasting was done in summer and fall, because in winter your bodies' strength was tested by the ice that seemed to be trying to infiltrate your bones. They would have to eat better to survive until spring.
Next to him, young Agnes choked on her bread.
— Eat slowly. 
— Pardon me, sister! — She stopped eating, lowering her head as if she expected to be punished. You smiled, running your hand over your protégé's head. 
— Don't be like that. I'm talking for your own good, chew better, it also helps to fill your stomach.
The girl turned her face towards you with a soft, youthful smile. 
A low, loud sound caught their attention. It was as if the ceiling had broken, so you looked up in doubt, but it seemed as firm as ever. Surprised gasps and the sound of footsteps moving across the stone floor made you stand up and look around, at the shocked faces of your sisters. 
— Stay behind me, Agnes. — You stood in front of the girl, shielding her with your body, while you searched for the cause of the commotion among the others. 
Another thud made you find the source of the terror. Your older sister, a girl so genuinely kind that she wouldn't mind giving up her own shoes and going barefoot if she had to. Olga. Olga, who was so generous that she always presented the others with little embroideries on old linen handkerchiefs, making them priceless pieces. Olga who hugged you as soon as you arrived, immensely happy as if you were a relative she hadn't seen for years and who was returning home. Your beloved sister Olga's nose was covered in blood and her front teeth were in an equally miserable state. Her blue eyes were completely covered by dark pupils, making them animalistic as she looked around at the familiar faces until she stopped at you. 
She gritted her teeth painfully, teasing the veins in her neck. Olga no longer knew you. She didn't look at you like her younger sister, but with anger.
— Ungrateful! Damn you! — She pointed her slender, cocked forefinger, the knuckles seeming to ache with the effort. — Ungrateful and  damned, unfortunate creature! Look what I do to what you love so much, look what I do to the object of your efforts!
Olga moved her face away from the table enough to almost fall backwards, gripping the edge of the table with her fingers tightly, before putting all her strength forward and, with a hollow sound of something breaking, smashing her nose against the wooden table. The noise tore you apart. Young Agnes' arms wrapped tightly around your waist as you pushed her back. 
Mother Illés rushed into the dining hall. 
She gave you an appeasing look and you understood. With agility, you gathered all the younger girls, totally terrified, and asked them to follow you out while Olga, surrounded and supported by her older sisters, screamed:
— Love me! Devote yourself to me! Command me if you wish, but don't ignore me, my beloved, don't deny me, for I am your lord and savior! I am the master of your pure and tormented soul, my beloved! 
But you, terrified, denied his call once again. You covered your ears as you led the girls into the courtyard outside. The dry autumn wind enveloped you, your voices, but did nothing to muffle the terror in your minds. Little Agnes was still wrapped tightly in your body and soon the others followed suit, seeking warmth in your shivering, freezing body. Concentrating on them, on reassuring them, took your mind off the torturous thought that, yes, he was impatient.
All those years of “tranquility” were his gift, his way of making you surrender voluntarily. But he was lonely. He was hungry. 
Now he controlled Olga's body. 
But not just her. 
That same night, while Olga was tied to her bed under the watchful eye of Mother Illés, Annabeth began to dance as she blew out the candles. You didn't see it, you were busy with your chores, but the others saw it and told you about it in sad, frightened voices. Annabeth, so young and playful, began to twirl around and the others thought she was just playing. The girl liked to play games, hiding pine cones under her pillows and little flowers in the sleeves of her habits. 
She spun around mesmerized, spinning faster and faster and more violently. Her feet seemed bewitched and she suffered without even being able to move her mouth to do so, her teeth clenched in a painful grind as her jaw unhinged. The candles on the altar grew, fueled by something supernatural and unworthy, dancing along with young Annabeth.
That macabre dance ended in a tableau and the flames touching the young woman's habit. The fire consumed her without anyone being able to put it out; no amount of water could stop the flames. They consumed Annabeth until there was nothing left. In her death, she said nothing, but tearing her clothes to get rid of the fire, her name was torn into the soft skin of my body. Her name was everywhere, written with love, sorrow and anger. Like a love-hate letter, he wrote to you through the skin of an innocent girl. 
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You hadn't slept a wink for three nights. 
At the slightest sign of unconsciousness, as you blinked your eyes a little more slowly, it was as if he was lurking there waiting to take you, and this made you resist even though your body could barely stand.
The mother didn't let you take part in the funeral, allowing you only a brief farewell before you were taken to your chambers to rest. 
You didn't want to rest.
Even so, you didn't have the strength to move. Perhaps it was tiredness or apathy, the feeling that all your efforts were useless.You lay there in your narrow bed, watching the day fade away through the shadows on the wall.
The night was his territory. 
Night was when he hid in the wind and entered his room.
Even though he wanted to, there was no voice in his throat to scream and a hot tear ran down his left eye. 
The door to his room opened and, to his relief, Father Lengyel entered his room. The black cloak swirled solemnly around him, like something divine coming to his rescue.
— What ails you, my dear!
— A large, slender hand, smelling of scrubbed earth, touched his face. There was a certain softness to it, even though the ice in your palms made you sigh with the thermal shock. — My poor little lamb! 
The man held your face lovingly, with such care that you simply let go, allowing yourself to cry in dismay at his attentive care. Father Lengyel, so small and twisted, sat on the edge of your bed. A candle burned on the chair on the other side of the room, the glow of the fire casting shadows on the wall next to your bed and leaving you cloaked in that lonely corner. Father Lengyel kissed your cheek, with those closed, dead lips, so cold they made you shiver.
— Father!
— Poor creature!
— My shadow is growing. — You confessed, leaning your face on the old man's hand. — My shadow consumed poor Olga and Annabeth, casting them into the valley of the storm. 
Father Lengyel pulled the blanket away from your body and, in the narrow space that barely fit a body, he lay down with you. Your eyes widened as the man pressed himself against your body. The man you had always seen as a loving and attentive father, a listener incapable of the slightest judgment, lay beside you with the warmth of a lover. 
— You curse us all, my sweet. — His mouth curved into a smile that only reflected darkness. — Everyone, everyone, everyone. My eyes, so blessed with the beauty of your soft skin and childish eyes, your sweet mouth and the shaggy strands of your eyebrows, became the object of his dark admirer's envy and, look, what he did to me.
In the short distance between your faces, that distance you wanted to increase at all costs, you could make out the old man's wrinkled features. His withered cheeks, the corners of his eyes creased by years and years of study and service to the church. His thinning hair was pearly white on his straight head, with little spots like freckles. The eyes, previously blue, weren't there. 
In their place, there was the emptiness of two hollow holes whose darkness seemed to feed with pleasure. 
The priest smiled in her direction.
— Smile, my dear. Who else in the world would be as adored and cherished as you? What other soul would be as worthy of all the fascination of eyes that have seen the rise and fall of empires as the rising and setting of the sun? There are worse ways to live. In complete ignorance, never seen and never remembered, gradually rotting away like this old man. 
In an unknown breath, you felt the instinct to fight with the same strength as the archangels as you sat up in bed, your body trembling from the effort. The priest continued to lie there, moaning with satisfaction as he enjoyed the smell of your hair against the pillow where you had shed your tears. 
He was totally possessed. The evil had taken hold of the most benevolent man you've ever had the pleasure of knowing, save only his own father, a man so generous that he gave up his beloved daughter to the care of a convent without ever doubting his desires to follow a holy life. All was lost.
You got out of bed, your legs wobbly as you dragged yourself out of the room. There were few lit candles and a long corridor. Carefully, you hugged your body and left your quarters, dreading the next demonic sight you would encounter on your way.
The convent seemed more alive than ever. A complete organism. The walls moved as it breathed and guided you in silence, the cold accompanying you like a guardian, a raven on your sullen shoulders. The moon was high in the sky, its pearly glow illuminating what not even candle flames could touch. And you walked, leaning on the walls, groping for balance. In the dining hall, where Olga's blood was embedded in the wood of one of the tables, you saw the shadows of the feet of all your beloved sisters and your devoted mother.
They all floated solemnly, with ropes around their necks. They all looked at you with pupils consumed by darkness and wide smiles, so big that they seemed to rejoice in your presence. 
— My beloved! — cried Clara. 
— Beacon of my darkness! — said Lucia. 
— Don't you see, my beloved? 
With dread, you walked around the tables, looking into their faces. Every single one of them. The rope wasn't taut, they were floating under the invisible force that kept them alive only for a brief moment. Just long enough for you to see them, to remember their names and their faces, their voices, their lives and their untouchable faith. Because they, like your Savior, had no power to stop the terrors you were cursed with at birth.
As soon as your cry marked his arrival in this rotten, petty and cheap world, he also felt the pain in his chest, where his lungs were supposed to work. Your soft cry marked the raw, lifeless gasp of the thing that woke up to take in its big, slender hands what was rightfully its: that poor soul, which had never found a single day's peace, shrouded in the melancholy of that fateful encounter. 
Nothing could stop her soul from touching him, much less his emptiness from possessing her soul.
It was a perfect fit, an unspoken agreement between heaven and hell. God, all merciful, gave you up for the greater good. You were eternally linked. 
And your sisters, mother and father paid the price for coming between the two of you, for taking you away from your true home and your true master. They filled your days with their miserable little lives, with miserable knowledge, with miserable privations for such... miserable glory. 
— I have set you free, my beloved. I have loosened the nails that bound you to your cross. — Murmured the mother, with jubilant eyes, cheeks streaked with sweet tears. Your stern and beneficent mother. — My obsession is the key to this filthy, worthless prison. Come, darling, and enjoy with me all the pleasures you've been denied. Come quickly, my beloved, put an end to my loneliness.
His shadow has grown over you, outside in the courtyard.
— Spare them! I beg you! — Her voice roared over the tearful smiles of her sisters. Young Agnes wiggled her legs, looking at you with that untouched childish gaze, as if she were throwing herself into dense fluffy clouds and not into the abyss of death, into the blackness of darkness. — Spare them and I'll follow you without looking back. I will never desire anything other than your company, nor will I follow any other path than the one your feet once trod.
Your sisters' laughter exploded through the high ceiling, laden with a mockery that didn't belong to them.
Bewitched, they all looked down at you with equal dark amusement, their voices blending together like a spiral that drained the strength from your legs. 
— Don't you understand yet, my holy lamb? — Smiled sweet Agnes. — There's no bargaining. Whether they live or die, you will still be mine.Even in death, I will pull you back and chain you to me. I myself have suffered many years of being bound to the prison of my desires for you, waiting for you for countless years, feeling the weight of your rejection, cruel lover. 
— But you love me, don't you?
— Every part of me to every part of you, my sweetness. 
— So give me these gifts. Spare my beloved sisters, my fellow human beings, those sweet women with pure hearts who have guarded me long enough for you to come and take your rightful possession. They are not guilty, but guardians. — On your knees, you clasped your hands to your chest, begging the devil for mercy. — I know I wasn't good to you, I was insensitive to your call, but they are not to blame.You'll have all my devotion if you spare them, but if you kill them, even though you have my body and my spirit, you'll never have a drop of my attention. 
The silence of the souls hanging from the ceiling of the convent refectory echoed their inconsolable weeping.Thick tears and a plea so strong that it could make the souls turn over in their graves. 
The doors opened in a rush, letting the cold wind enter the dining hall. 
For the first time, under the ethereal light of the moon, as if in a macabre mixture of dream and nightmare intertwined by the thin veil of unconsciousness, you saw it.Not its aura or its agonized call, you saw the creature with your own eyes. 
You, who know so little about men, had never seen such a figure. 
So tall that you had to stoop to pass through the door that you would walk through without any difficulty.Eyes so deep that no light could reach them. A face hardened by the spectre of death, with a long nose and a thick moustache of a deep shade of black.He entered the sacred ground with equal parts ease and pain, each step a necessary torture to reach the object of his desire. The soul he so coveted in his millennial solitude, forgotten by the world, completely abandoned under the promise of a single soul that the heavens did not claim, a soul he could corrupt at will. 
Yours to devour, he thought at first, perhaps resentful that he was also chained to a lowly mortal, a wandering and very basic creature. Yours to torment, he thought, when you were very young and saw his shadow in your room for the first time. Yours to worship, he realized now, pulling her by her bare arms to stand up.
The creature, hungry for something, for some compensation for its endless loneliness, brought its face close to his and, with a touch of malice, stuck out its tongue, licking the length of his tears with its cold, inhuman breath. 
— I thought you'd wait for me in your habit, my beloved.I was particularly looking forward to it. — He lowered his cold, vile gaze, delving into the shape of your body beneath the nightgown with which you were forced to rest, a fabric so thin of light cotton that it hung down your body, revealing through the worn nature of the fabric the color of your stiff nipples against the fabric. He gasped with pleasure. — But what unparalleled pleasure it is to see you in such intimate attire, my eternal obsession. 
His hands, holding her face, were huge, with large, aged nails. Nails that would have dug into the earth to escape the grave. Their coldness was uncomfortable, but, given the horrors in your mind, you found yourself accepting their touch as a shred of comfort.
It destroyed your sanity, that it would at least give you the soothing balm of a caress.
— Please! — you sighed with a breath, a breath as anguished as it was tired. 
Your hands touched his, your eyes full of life and fear threatened his darkness with such a benevolent request, something the creature had never witnessed. 
Those like you, mortals, used to beg for mercy on your own life, on your knees and with the greatest promises of riches and pleasures.And here you were, a soul who would never reach heaven, asking for mercy for others when it was your fate that was at stake.
How he loved you! How he hated you!
— Treating it as my personal gift and demonstration of my esteem, these women live by my ability to have mercy on the requests of your heart. — He approached your warmth, the steady rhythm of your heartbeat, the salt of your feverish skin. All his vitality was more than banal desire, he was madly fissured by every cell of his anatomy, every rudimentary bit of his mortal Anatomy, and so doomed to the horrors of putrefaction. — My eternal living flame, how it tormented me not to be able to touch it. How it torments me right now to feel the softness of your skin. 
The creature's eyes mapped your face, his eyes so vivid and striking in color, the visage on your skin, the softness of his mouth as you breathed audibly, so bruised by fatigue that you didn't even budge when he wrapped you in his arms like a bruised little bird. Her soft sigh, nesting her head against his shoulder, was the fuel for him to release the women from their ropes, gently lowering them until their feet touched the ground.
— As long as you live, my ladies, be the witness of my triumph in having my sweet beloved in my arms for eternity.
He lowered his face in your direction, the ancient smell on his clothes made you scratch your nose. 
The texture of his mustache was thick. When his funeral lips touched yours, you tried to resist. Never before have you felt the pleasure of a passionate kiss or a love that took your breath away. But he knew what he'd been waiting for, holding you tightly by the back of your head, wrapping himself around you menacingly as his mustache scratched and skin immaculate from his face. His lips were hard, demanding and hungry.
His mouth ate you as his last hope, the last of pleasures and torments, a feast for a dying man.
The exchange, life and death, touching each other for the first time ignited an impulse in you. The impulse that matched his kiss, because that was the deal. You gave in, letting your lips submit to the kiss. Your body was surprised as you gasped with pleasure at corresponding with him, stimulated by the passion with which he held you. The human body is capable of many bargains to continue resisting.
And you, who had resisted for so long, gave in to that bittersweet feeling of surrender, feeling it take against your body.
Her body gradually sank into the feeling of being supported. As her dark lover's lips devoured hers, the world became a darker and darker place, the hiss of the wind seeping into her ears like spilled poison.  Between soft gasps, feeling the creature suck on his lips, unable to be completely satiated, his body gave in to the strain, falling into a powerful sleep. Realizing that you no longer corresponded with him, he walked away, looking at her with apprehension. His right hand, large and bony, rested on his chest. 
The beating of his heart was quiet, yet powerful. Each beat rumbling softly against the bones of his chest. 
Under the gaze of the bewitched nuns, he disappeared with the night, carrying with him the only one with whom he could share his eternal night.
♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰♰
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pricegouge · 3 months ago
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Thinking of nanny!reader x daddy!price once again... You really ate there, damn
[fic]
oh ms. messy... wonder what she's been up to...
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"fuckin' call me messy," you grumble under your breath, the pre-wetted wipe in your hands going dry with overuse. emily squirms, her chubby little cheek gone red with the attention.
"not s'ppose'ta say tha'word." face squished in your hand as it is, the accusation comes out too muffled to hold her usual attitude. like this, she's almost cute. or would be, if not for the garish colors still staining her eyelids.
"and you're not supposed to use markers like makeup, but here we are."
she rolls her eyes, the brat, smudgy purple lines fading up into her eyebrows raising with the effort, as if everything in her tiny little body was put into the motion. "wha'ss'a diffr'nce anyway?"
"well for one, makeup comes off with makeup wipes," you snark, tossing another stained towelette into the bin, tie-dye collection starting to overflow. "for another i don't think 'bluetiful' is really your color."
"blue is a primary color," she informs you, apropos of nothing, as if that should explain why she'd tried using it as as a highlighter.
you pause in your endeavor, the bright red 'blush' on her cheek bleeding down the crease of her nose. "that is true," you agree sagely, and then damn near jump out of your skin when a gruff voice behind you asks if she knows her other primaries.
emily lists off a good fourteen colors - far too many from your understanding, though it had been a long time since you were in preschool; maybe they'd added some. you used the time to check yourself out in the bathroom mirror covertly, though you catch him catching you, eyes meeting somewhere around the fourth shade of yellow. "mr. price," you greet him casually, voice too meek in your effort not to interrupt emily's learning.
he doesn't even nod, eyes heavy on you as he lets his daughter prattle off every shade of the crayolla box she'd become overly familiar with. you'd say he's getting worse but he's always been like this - too intense, too direct - and saying as much felt like a jinx, like a dare to the universe at large to make him, impossibly, more driven. "ms. messy," he drawls quietly, the title a low purr as he lets his eyes drag over you. you'd worn shorts today, confident and cheeky in the privacy of your room. he always managed to wrangle that control from you this easily, with barely more than a pointed look that set you back to basics, suddenly remembering the game you're playing. who with.
attempting to save face, you turn back to emily and whisper to her, thick as thieves. "coulda told me he was right behind me. now i look bad, not using this as a teaching opportunity."
emily tells you it's actually your job to know when her dad's home because she's a little shit, but you barely hear it because john takes that opportunity to assure you you don't look bad, doubles down when he sees how flustered he's made you. "emily, doesn't ms. messy look nice?"
and maybe there is a reason you keep coming back for more (other than her hot father and his seemingly bottomless pocket) because she just nods animatedly, sloppy bun you'd piled her hair into bobbing. you start to murmur your thanks, but she ruins the moment just as suddenly as she'd started it, motioning to her colorful face and proudly announcing she'd been trying to look like you.
"oh," you hedge, unsure how you feel about a child thinking drunk drag makeup was the key to stealing your look.
john, thankfully, comes to your rescue. "oh, munchkin. you know ms. messy doesn't need all that to look pretty."
well, maybe 'thankfully' was a strong word. "and neither do you. you're pretty just the way you are," you assert, trying to steer the conversation into something more manageable just as you steer the girl before you back your way, tilting her head so you can get a particularly well saturated bit on her brow.
"prettier than you?" she asks, cheeky, and you roll your eyes much like she had, far too exaggeratedly. let her dad have fun with that bad habit.
"well of course!"
she giggles, turns to face her father as best she can when you've got her whole jaw cupped in your hand. "daddy, am i prettier than ms. messy?"
you don't think he's mean enough to give his kid a complex in the name of flirting with someone half his age, but your breath catches anyway, waiting in anticipation as he lets the moment drag on.
surely your heart's racing because you want him to say no. right?
"now that you mention it, ms. messy sure could use some sprucing up, hm?" you scoff and flick the dirty towelette at him and huff when he catches it easily, palm completely engulfing it without even really trying. he's unbearably smug when he continues, whiskers practically twitching with a barely contained grin. "what do you think, munchkin? a pretty necklace? a bracelet?"
unfortunately, he looks perfectly serious. "maybe a ring?"
if emily responds, you don't hear it, too busy side eyeing him, trying to figure out how serious he is. if you get tipped with a tennis necklace next time you watch his kid, you might just drop out of school.
divider by @/cafekitsune
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jweekgoji · 5 months ago
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hello, you can resquest scenery, TFO Orion Pax, D-16, B-127 and Sentinel wait for their Conjux femme reader to give birth to their Sparkling. (about the others except Sentinel, where they go to the surface and return to Iacon and it would be that they meet their newborn Sparkling)
TFO Chars/Pregnant!Femme!Reader [hcs]
featuring: Orion Pax, D-16, B-127, Sentinel Prime tw: pregnancy, very brief mentions of violence, slighty yandere!Megs by the end, mixture of fluff/angst. word count: ~1940 a/n: I hope I understood your request well. Feel free to correct me if I did something wrong so I can remake it.
Orion Pax.
I feel like Orion (cogless, since it's before they went to the surface) is probably that typical young dad that has no idea how to take care of a child and might as well set on fire the kitchen in attempts to warm the bottle of energon for the sparkling.
But! He is very enthusiastic about it, and he supports you in every way he can; it's just that he lacks any real experience with it. Reading in the archives about sparklings, pregnancy and how to be a good mentor is easy; the hardest thing is to actually deal with it.
There is a big possibility that you are also cogless like him, and I'm not sure Sentinel actually cares about poor pregnant miners to give them at least a one-day off. Your supervisors would constantly remind you to continue working, since there's always a big need for energon.
Orion often picks up fights because of it. Can't those big bullies see that you're sparked? You need rest and good care, not lifting heavy equipment...As usual, he gets scolded by Elita for not doing his job properly, but he makes sure that he helps you with everything. You can rest during your shift, while Orion is happily working for both of you, so you won't be reported to the higher-ups. It's a little hard, but there is nothing he wouldn't do for you.
Following my last statement and the previous headcanons, Orion desperately wants the best future for all Cybertronians. He hates the thought that his sparkling will grow up in the same place as him. No actual home, no equality, only hatred from the others. That's when he sees the opportunity to change the future, he grasps onto it.
It pains Orion to leave you in Iacon. It wasn't really his fault, though. He would have come back to you after the Iacon 5000 race immediately if it wasn't for Darkwing throwing him on sublevel 50, and the next events after that...
Orion gains the maturity he lacked, and with realization of his other past mistakes, he also understands how careless he was before. You're probably scared to death without him; he left you without a word, and now you have to only guess where your conjunx is. How stressed you will be after someone tells you that he's dead.
Just as much as it scares him and makes him angry at himself, it also motivates him for more. No matter what, he will come back to you.
The moment he sees you, he is relieved. The reunion looks awkward, his form towering over your smaller one, but that doesn't bother either of you. When he finally meets the sparkling, his own little spark, all the pain from the last battle is gone.
Orion swears to you that he will never leave you alone after today; with a new spark born in this world, there is a hope. How meaningful it is for his own child to be born the day the Iacon becomes free.
D-16
Just like Orion, D-16 has a little to no idea how to take care of the sparkling. If his best friend will be so happy to be a sire, D-16 has mixed emotions about this.
Don't get me wrong, he is excited about it just like you, but D-16 is the bot who is reluctant when it comes to going against the rules. He is not sure if this is actually the right place and time for the sparkling to be born now. Both of you are cogless, and there is no great future for you. Maybe after countless cycles ago he can get a higher position, a bit better life, but will it be enough to raise someone so young?
Even then, he shows you that he is happy. He doesn't want you to think that he hates the idea just because he's not so sure about your current life.
D-16 is a naturally strong bot, probably one of the strongest when compared to other miners. He gets extra affectionate with his conjunx, holding you close and maybe even carrying you around if you show him the tiniest sign that you're tired. He is really sweet.
As Orion drags him into the race, he begins to slowly lose his cool. His outburst in the cave after finding out about the truth is even stronger. The betrayal, pain, the sick feeling of worry about you and his sparkling. If only Orion didn't drag him into that damn race, he would have been with you, making sure that you're safe, none of that would have happened.
The frustration boils over with each step he makes. He needs to come back to Iacon, to you, but first, he has to get rid of the one who caused the cycles of pain and humiliation.
 The time D-16 gets his servos on Sentinel, ripping him apart in front of anyone, he thinks it is the only way to solve everything. Only he can fix it, and only he can trust himself with protecting you.
You weren't there to see him deal with Sentinel, thankfully. It is for the best to avoid all the stress it could have caused if you saw him. Your dear conjunx is seething with hatred. Sentinel took many things from him; he wasn't even able to be there with you when your sparkling was born. D-16 Megatron will cherish both of you forever, and he will make sure to raise his little one as strong as him, so they won't live through the same events as D-16 was.
B-127
Oh, this one is a little too sad to speculate. Let's say, both of you are cogless but met each other a long time ago before you two ended up on sublevel 50. The moment you two failed to please the higher-ups and also the moment you find out that you're sparked up. What bad timing!
B-127 seems to be more happy than you are when he realizes that he is going to be a sire. A little too happy. Even though he doesn't fully understand it. You might go like, “You're going to be a sire, Bee” and then he hits you with, “I am sparked up??” which is kind of funny. Is that really your man?
Out of other bots, I can see  🐝 being the best sire ever. Of course, he gets a little confused, but who wouldn't be if they dealt with their first child? You try to explain to him everything you know about the topic, and he quickly catches up on it.
B-127 is already thinking about the names. Does Badasstron Junior sound like a good name for sparkling? Or maybe he should practice combining your names together? Anyway, it really helps him not to get insane down here. Having you around is good for Bee's mental health, though you're not so sure how much time passed since you were demoted.
Even then, Bee shows his caring side. He does get serious when the situation really needs it, so he is constantly tied to your hip because he wants you and the sparkling to be safe. The conditions are not great, but he makes the best of it. No matter how bad it gets, he always makes you smile, even though sometimes he has no strength to keep his cheerfulness.
Bee is happy to have more new friends and to partake in the journey of finding the matrix of leadership, but he doesn't want you to get hurt. That's why (with tears in his optics) you two agree that you should stay. But hey, it will probably not take too much time. He will come back with his new friends to Iacon with the matrix; the energon will flow again, so there's no need for you to stay!
Bee doesn't stop yapping about the fact that he is going to be a sire to Elita. This fella just likes to talk and when he sees the opportunity, he doesn't miss it! Poor Elita has to listen to him how hard it is to choose the name for the baby, or how he is going to be the best sire ever once the group comes back. Ohh, did you know that he also really-really loves you? And his sparkling? Elita barely handles him, but even though she never met you, she knows everything about you.
After Bee comes back to Iacon, he almost faints. First he got a cog, then met the high guard, got a job with the government, AND became a sire? When he sees his sparkling, he feels a little sad that he wasn't there with you, but he will compensate it in no time. Every little move your sparkling makes is cheered by,  and Primus have mercy on the poor bots around him. He is probably that dad who will show you the pictures of his kids...
Sentinel Prime
Being a conjunx of Sentinel has its own perks. Lucky you, no work for you! It will be too bad if you get sparked up and cogless, huh?
Sentinel is a busy bot. There is always work waiting for him, especially the oh so important ‘‘searching for matrix of leadership’ thing. Even then, when he is in Iacon, there are lots of paper jobs and meetings  being here and there since everything should be personally controlled by him.
One of the cons while being sparked up and being conjunx of Sentinel is that he doesn't have much time for you. By the end of the day, he always comes back to your quarters, but it's just so lonely without him! You're always surrounded by the guards, the medics, but they can never replace the presence of your loved one.
All the changes in your body don't help at all, the mood swings, the certain energon cravings in the middle of the night, so-so hard to deal with, but he's a Prime, after all, so that shouldn't trouble him that much...
Sentinel might be a little irritated with it. When you wake him up, just to ask for something Primus-knows-what-next, that will probably take hours to search for, but he has no strength to deny you. If his conjunx wants it, he gets it!
I like to think that Sentinel is probably always aware of your and sparkling's health, but in a slightly concerning way. Yes, he can miss one or two meetings at the doctor's with you, but that doesn't mean he is ignorant. Everything is reported straight to him, so if anything, he will drop his work and join you. There is also a looong track of every checkup you had, and he has a timer that counts seconds to when the sparkling is born.
Imagine how annoyed Sentinel is when he gets humiliated by the quintessons and misses the birth of his sparkling? He practically scowls when someone reports him about it and totally has to restrain himself from strangling someone on his way to Iacon, but he manages it somehow.
Sentinel's mood quickly replaced with warmth for you and the sparkling, even though inside his head, he is still annoyed. How could he miss it? When he planned everything to the last second? The one thing that keeps his mind occupied is the little one he has in his servos. He's not going to leave you two again. At least, when he still can.
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adieutristana · 3 months ago
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hii! could i request the arcane women comforting reader on her period?
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of course! thank you for the request <3
b2b by charli xcx on repeat yuuuup
summary; headcanons of the arcane women comforting their girlfriend on her period.
characters included; jinx, vi, mel, sevika, caitlyn, maddie
tags/warnings; menstruation, fluff, comfort, suggestive (jinx's section), reader has hell periods, mentions of poor mental health, can't think of anything else honestly
minors and men dni.
jinx;
✧.* idk why, but i headcanon that jinx is one of those super lucky girls who has really light 3-4 day long periods. basically nothing at all.
✧.* so when you told her that your periods were long, and heavy, and painful, she was honestly taken aback. jinx was a bit puzzled as to how that's possible.
✧.* "but mine aren't that bad! are you suuure?"
✧.* she doesn't mean anything by it, she's just genuinely perplexed. sometimes it's difficult for jinx to put these kinds of things into perspective. however, the second she sees you doubled over in pain, clutching your stomach and whimpering in pain, her instincts kick in and she's rushing to your side.
✧.* "oh- oh, toots, are you okay?! what happened? why d'ya look so hurt?" she'd ask, crouching down next to you with panic evident in her voice.
✧.* "just... on my period," you'd strain. "nothing out of the ordinary. don't worry about me."
✧.* jinx absolutely will worry about you, though. she's by your side, asking you what you need. since her own periods are so mild, she doesn't know exactly where to start with this sort of thing. but she's doing her best.
✧.* she'll research! she finds out all about the cravings, mood swings, pains, and how to soothe all of those things. she nerds out when she gets to research anyways, but she'll go above and beyond to make sure her girl is comfortable and happy. as much as you can be during shark week, anyways.
✧.* the same day she finds you in pain, she's swiping things from shelves of pharmacies and convenience stores like no tomorrow. pain medicine, water bottles that she plans to heat up, chocolates, tubs of ice cream, blankets, lots of sanitary products. hell, she'll even burn a few dvds so the two of you can have movie nights. jinx doesn't do anything halfway, especially not something like this.
✧.* even more clingy than normal somehow. i imagine jinx runs pretty cold, but also has a lot of natural body heat, if that makes sense? she uses the guise of being your 'built-in heating pad,' though anyone can tell she just wants to be close to you and comfort you. she'll have both her arms and legs wrapped around you, nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck and peppering kisses along the soft skin.
✧.* "mm.. don't mind me, sugar. just wanna be here for 'ya, help you feel better 'n all that."
✧.* she's got such a sweet tooth, jinx might swipe a few of the snacks she stole for you while you're not looking... sorry. she can't help herself
✧.* will try to distract you to the best of her ability. movie nights as i said, as well as taking you around the streets of zaun (when you can manage to stand upright), gaming with you and purposely letting you win just so she can see your smile and hear your laugh.
✧.* along with the extra clingy thing, jinx will not let you out of your sight until she's absolutely sure that you're off your period. it's not that she doesn't think you can handle yourself, but she just worries so much. part of her knows it's irrational, but seeing you in so much pain eats at her inside, makes her afraid that she's going to lose you. even though it's just a natural part of your cycle
✧.* she's also read that other kinds of relief can be especially helpful for cramps, so you know jinx will be offering that to you if you know what i mean.
vi;
✧.* oh she's right there with you.
✧.* has the worst fucking periods known to man. it's like she's completely MIA as soon as it hits every month, she's just dead to the world. trust me, she understands.
✧.* which means that she can help you that much better! she knows firsthand what it's like and what works for her, but she also knows that it's not a one-size-fits-all situation. it'll take a bit of time, but vi knows what she's doing.
✧.* she's already got a stash of things lined up for you in her bathroom the day after you tell her you've gotten your period. panty liners, pads, tampons of different sizes. she doesn't even bother asking what you prefer to use, she just wants you to have the options depending on what you need at what time. only the best for her girl
✧.* fridge, freezer and cupboards are also full to the brim of your favorite snacks, the best medications. candies, chocolates, baked goods, ice cream, pain relief... all the good stuff.
✧.* don't even bother asking where she got all this stuff and how she could afford it, just let vi take care of you.
✧.* "shh, cupcake. that's for me to worry about. you sit your pretty self down and let me do all the hard work, 'kay?"
✧.* has heated blankets and water bottles ready for you at all times! the second she hears the slightest whimper of pain from you she's got the water bottle in her hand, instructing you to lean back so she can put it against your lower abdomen. she'll stay with you to make sure you're okay. she needs that reassurance both for you and herself.
✧.* vi is the type of lover who can't rest until she knows for sure that you're okay, regardless of how much you tell her that you're alright.
✧.* "i'm fine, baby. really, you don't need to worry about me." you'd say, though the way your face contorted in discomfort betrayed your words. "are you sure? you can't fool me, pretty. i know you're hurting. just let me help you. that's what i'm here for."
✧.* she also knows that insomnia comes with menstruation at times, so she'll make sure you sleep in her bed until you're off your period. holding you close, rubbing soothing circles over your back and stomach to help relieve some of the pain for you. don't worry about clinging to her, don't worry about how long it takes you to fall asleep or even the possibility of bleeding onto her sheets. vi just wants to make you feel comfortable, she'll take care of everything later.
✧.* doesn't let you do a damn thing for yourself. she almost treats you as if you're made of glass. it's not that thinks you're helpless, vi knows damn well just how fierce and independent you are. but she also enjoys taking care of you and knowing she's making your life easier.
✧.* "i'm on my period, not helpless." you'd protest, crossing your arms over your chest with a light pout. vi would chuckle to herself, playfully pinching one of your cheeks. "i know, i know. but i just wanna do this for you, okay? let me take care of you."
mel;
✧.* mel probably knows your cycle by heart after a certain amount of time being with you. not in a creepy way, but she's just that connected and attuned to you.
✧.* she'll come to you a few days before she knows you're due for your period, concern evident in her tone. "are you starting to cramp at all, dear?" she'd ask, or something along the lines of, "i know you're due soon. no discomfort? any cravings? you can tell me these things, darling."
✧.* she has a constant stash of things and she knows your preferences when it comes to hygiene products, snacks, medicine, all of your favorite comforts. she truly knows you like the back of your hand.
✧.* she'll be taking off work for you as well, as much as you protest and assure her that you're okay. realistically, mel knows sure and well that you're okay. but she still wants that time to be with you and make sure that you're comfortable and you're in as little pain as possible. it's more for her own peace of mind.
✧.* her own are honestly pretty moderate, not too bad but not exactly pleasant either. though again, she's attuned to your own senses and knows exactly what you need.
✧.* mel will be basically attached to you by the hip. she doesn't let you out of her sight for a second out of pure worry for you and your well-being. seeing you nauseous, craving the most odd foods, doubled over in pain, it hurts your girlfriend to even think about. she knows she can't outright prevent all of that, but it'll ease her mind to be there by your side.
✧.* mel doesn't insist that you take it easy, she knows that life goes on despite everything. she doesn't want to hover over you too much, but again, she'll be by your side. helping you run errands, walking you to and from work, watching from the sidelines as you do those little things that make you happy. painting, reading, writing... any of it.
✧.* it's a well-known fact that she loves to spoil you, so if you mention wanting anything at all, she won't even go out and buy it for you. she'll take you to the store with her and tell you to just buy whatever you'd like. no limits.
✧.* "anything at all, beautiful. let me treat you." "but mel, this is-" she'd shush you lightly, a playful smile tugging at her lips. "too much? nonsense. i can handle it, you just tell me what you need. it pains me to see you so uncomfortable, regardless of how natural it is."
✧.* holding onto you so tightly, and you just know mel would give the best massages. literally anywhere that's sore, she'll massage for you with such love and care. her fingertips are a bit calloused and rough, but always so soft with you.
✧.* also runs you warm baths and even tosses in salts and flowers! they help her a lot when she's having period-related pains, so she hopes they'll have the same effect on you. she's happy to leave you to yourself, or sit near the edge of the tub and just talk to you. whatever would make you the most comfortable and happy.
sevika;
✧.* she's also got pretty mild periods, but she is very attuned to you and your senses. sevika can't exactly feel your pain and discomfort, though she knows how to ease it.
✧.* trust me when i say that she's got a good supply of things for you. all the sanitary products you could need, extra-strength pain medications, heated blankets, heat pads, snacks, the whole nine yards. uncomfortable and hurting? not on sevika's watch.
✧.* "just tell me what ya need, darlin'. you know i'll get it." she'd say, spooning you tightly while one hand rests over your lower stomach. you'd mumble light protests, but she wouldn't have it. "i know you're okay, babe. you tell me that enough. but i still wanna help, okay?"
✧.* so touchy and so clingy. sevika doesn't want to let go of you for a second, not if she can help it. whether that be holding you from behind while you move about the kitchen cooking, holding you close to her in bed, keeping an arm around your waist as you saunter around the lanes together, or brushing her lips against your forehead, she relishes that contact. especially when you're vulnerable like this.
✧.* she still has things to do. unfortunately, sevika's job isn't really one that she can take time off from, as much as she'd like to. but the second she gets off work, she's back home, by your side. your girlfriend is so loyal, so doting when it comes to you. a side of the usually gruff woman that's reserved exclusively for you.
✧.* she also won't hinder you from doing anything for yourself, the last thing she needs is for you to feel both excruciating pain and helplessness at the same time. however, sevika makes it clear that she's happy to take over whatever task you need if it gets to be too much.
✧.* you could be in the middle of a task when a cramp suddenly hits you, making you nearly fold in half and clutch at your stomach. "hey, what's wrong?" sevika would ask, cold metal against your shoulder. "cramps? come on, i'll take it from here. you go lay down."
✧.* do not worry about needing to ask for help with sevika. ever. she's more than happy to provide it for you, don't worry about asking for 'too much' or being 'too demanding.' you're her girlfriend, and you're on your period. there's no such thing as either of those with her.
✧.* "come on. you know whatever it is, i'll do it for you. so tell me," she'd pause, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow in that way she typically does, "what do you need, dove?"
✧.* also super attentive during sleep, would probably stay up just so that she can make sure you're okay and sleeping through the night. sevika is used to running on little to no sleep, thank her line of work. she'll try to keep it quiet, not let you know that she's observing, but she just worries. she wants to make sure you aren't suffering any bouts of insomnia. that, and seeing your peaceful expression during slumber is a plus.
caitlyn;
✧.* caitlyn gets it, she really does. one of piltover's strongest enforcers and officials, but struck down once a month by menstruation. something had to take her down a notch.
✧.* she knows exactly what'll help her, and she hopes it'll help you too. though she gives you options, since she knows you probably won't have all the same preferences as her when it comes to sanitary products, snacks, care, etc. cait will take her time so that she gets your routine down pat, before she eventually just has everything stocked in her home for when the time inevitably comes every month.
✧.* caitlyn is constantly checking in on you. she’ll ask you about every little thing, making sure that you’re not straining too hard, not in too much pain. you could be sitting on your bed, folding towels, and caitlyn would ask something like, “are you sure that’s not too much right now? if your back or stomach is hurting, i can take over.”
✧.* she’ll want to keep you at home with her on the days that are the hardest on you. the days where you’re groaning in pain, you can barely think straight from just how uncomfortable you are. when you’re an emotional mess from the mood swings and crying over a puppy you saw on the street. she wants to be there to comfort you and help you get back on your feet.
✧.* “shh… love, it’s fine. i know, that puppy was adorable.” you’d sniffle, looking up at her with pleading eyes. “can we get one, cait? please?” she’d chuckle quietly, letting out a heavy sigh. “maybe when i don’t have so much on my plate.”
✧.* she's on top of your every need. in pain? here's a bottle of painkillers. cravings? she's already got whatever you need. in the case that she doesn't, caitlyn is in the kitchen making something for you herself. she'll be damned if she lets her girlfriend go unsatisfied, especially on her period.
✧.* she'd be so doting especially when it comes to the pain, caitlyn wants to just hold you until all of the cramps are gone. realistically, she knows there's not much she can do besides offer a few over-the-counter methods. she's gonna have to wait until they run their course, but it doesn't make her want to cling to you any less. she wishes she could hold you and you'd feel the rest of the world melt away
✧.* "fuck, cait, it hurts," you'd whimper, clinging tight to the girl with your brows knitted together. she'd softly hush you, her one hand slipping under the fabric of your top to run soothing circles over your lower back. "i know, darling. i'm here, it'll be alright."
✧.* cait would run you warm baths as well, she's at your side the entire times. she'll throw in flower petals and salts, maybe even a bath bomb if it'll make you happy. not only will it help ease the pain, but making you feel cared for in this time is of the upmost importance to her. yes, you feel gross, but you don't have to! look at the nice bath she drew you! she'll even help wash you off if you need it, or she's happy to just stay by your side and talk to you as you soak.
maddie;
✧.* maddie's own are pretty moderate, but she has a cut-and-dry routine she's stuck to as a teenager. works like a charm every time her period rolls around, so she hopes those methods will work for you. though, if they don't, maddie will immediately stop and regroup.
✧.* maddie i don't think would be super in tune with everything.. i apologize. she'll connect the dots after she sees you hunched over in pain or with a bottle of painkillers in one hand and a tub of ice cream in the other, but she won't be able to pick up on it right away like some others might.
✧.* but that doesn't make her any less good at comforting you, let's make that abundantly clear. as soon as she catches onto what's happening, she's basically waiting on you hand and foot. maddie is devoted!
✧.* now of course, she's a junior officer. maddie can't be by your side as often as she'd like to, unfortunately. she likes her job, but sometimes she curses it for holding her back from her girlfriend in times of need.
✧.* so she second she's allowed off the job, she's swinging the door open with a bag full of snacks to make her presence known. "i'm home, darlin'! where are ya?" she'd announce, glancing around the empty space before her eyes land on you. "oh, there you are. here, i brought these back! sorry, i know i was gone for a while, but i'm here now, yeah?"
✧.* however, you'll have to ask for a lot of what you need. maddie knows that you're independent and capable of helping yourself, so she doesn't want to assume unless she knows for sure that you're incapable of it because of pain or discomfort. that's one of the things she doesn't really budge on. if you're able to voice what's bothering you, she'll be more than happy to be of help!
✧.* also really, really good at distracting you. she'll put on movies, plug in cassettes of your favorite albums, talk to you for hours on end about nothing and everything simultaneously. maddie figures that if she can take your mind off of it, that's better than just waiting out the discomfort.
✧.* she kinda sucks at cooking. sorry.. but! she'd still make sure any cravings of yours are filled. freezer is packed to the brim with ice cream, and she's got lots of sugary treats for you in her cupboards. i also would imagine she lives basically smack in the middle of piltover, next to a lot of vendors and convenience stores. so on the off-chance she doesn't have something you need, she's already on her way to grab it for you.
✧.* "i'll be right back, okay? just running around the corner. rest assured."
✧.* also so cuddly especially when it comes to being in bed with you. she's already clingy, but you might have to pry her off of you when you're on your period. she hopes you wouldn't want to, though, not when she's got her legs wrapped around your waist and her head nestled into the warmth of your neck.
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